“This shouldn’t be that difficult,” I blubbered to my husband. We were newly married and DESPERATE to find a church home. We had visited several different churches in our area, trying to fit in anywhere and it was awful. Really awful. No one would talk to us. We attended different classes and we got the cold shoulder. We sat in worship service and sometimes no one would even sit by us. NO ONE.
It’s bad enough to sit by someone who won’t talk to you, but to sit alone in a pew is even worse. Sitting alone in a pew is like being naked in church, because you feel like you are putting yourself out there, only to be left in the cold. (Disclaimer: It isn’t ALL about going where everybody knows your name. But when at least one person introduces themselves to you, it lets you know that someone noticed you!)
We wanted to find a church that had a great community and a strong mission, where we could serve and be around people who were passionate about God and about helping their community thrive. I’m a big definition nerd, so I want to share a couple of definitions of community from Google. The short definition of community is “a group of people who live in the same place”….cool. People live near each other and that’s all it takes. BUT–real community is so much deeper than just being in close proximity to each other. Here is my favorite definition of community: “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.” I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that the second definition is way better than the first one. It goes way beyond just being around one another.
So, why is community important? I thought of a few reasons:
Community Helps the Church Grow
When I say “grow,” I don’t just mean in numbers (although that could stem from this idea). I mean spiritually. With closer relationships come more opportunities to help each other grow! One of my favorite verses in the bible is from Proverbs 27:17. It talks about how we affect change in each other. It says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Just like this verse says, it is important to help each other become better people. Strive to sharpen others.
Community Gets Work Done
The power of people working together is amazing. When a community comes together to support something like a food pantry or a Vacation Bible School, big things can happen in God’s name. If one person is trying to do something alone, they may be able to get a lot done, but may not reach as many people or have nearly as much effect. When we work with others it is truly great for the Kingdom.
Community is Involved in the Community
Not only is community involved in helping others grow spiritually and getting work done, BUT it is also important to be involved outside of the church. I know. Who has time for that? We have to pick either church or what’s on the outside, because we’re so busy. It doesn’t have to be a chore or take a lot of time out of your schedule. It can be as simple as picking up some cookies at the store for a function or volunteering at the library to read to some kiddos.
When you work as a community to reach others, people will feel more welcome and inclined to see what you are about. When we love people together, our love becomes infectious.
I want to challenge you to look for opportunities in your church to help build your community and get to know it better.
And when the time comes, look for ways to add people to your community and show them that love. Don’t let someone sit alone in a pew.
- Why is Community Important? - August 31, 2017
- Social Media: Friend or Foe? - September 27, 2016
- Saving for Vacation: Quick Tips for Saving Money - September 21, 2016
This is a post I feel is so important to our generation. I always hear older folks asking why our generation “has left the church.” My response has been, “We need a church where we can serve and grow.” It’s hard to find a church family. We are a military family, so we move often. We have had some really bad experiences in churches where, quite frankly, people don’t want us to stir things up or be involved. I agree that church should play a huge role in community. We are responsible for the outreach. I finally found a church… Read more »
It is difficult when people leave because they don’t feel like they have a place. I’m glad you found somewhere to serve God’s Kingdom!
Love this. So true, community is vital. Hubby and I have been praying that we find a new one soon.
Praying that you find a great community to be a part of!
Community is so important. I feel so disconnected sometimes with social media and how digital our world is!
One man can’t do it all alone
This post is great!! One thing I have realized more and more for the last 2-3 years is that our church is not a community. (At least not to the point I’d like it to be.) We jam pack Sunday full of church, but during the week, we do not talk to one another.
Yes, God is all about community and relationships. It’s all over the Bible. We need community! We were built for it!
That’s the worst feeling – to feel invisible. I’m actually an introvert though, so I don’t mind if people don’t talk to me. I like to stay under the radar…at church.
So much truth in your written words girl! My husband and I were exactly in the same boat about 6 years ago when we were looking for a church for our family. So we have been that family that felt “naked” on the church pew. The first few churches we visited made us feel isolated. Only very few people even acknowledged the “visitors” in the crowd. It is heartbreaking really. People need to realize that the church isn’t the four walls…the church is God’s people!!
Community is so important – especially for women. I have been trying lately to reach out to that lonely lady in the pew. It is so uncomfortable and that isn’t what Christ would want….
When we first moved into our area we had to do the dreaded church shopping, too. We visited many but really felt the Holy Spirit in the church that focused on loving God and reaching out to us to make us feel comfortable during our very first visit. We’ve been there every since. Thank you for the post!
I am blessed to live in one of the most diverse counties in America. However, it didn’t mean I didn’t have to sit in a lot of pews naked too. It was hard to leave my church family and a job I loved at the church that was mission minded in serving everywhere in the community or anywhere God called us to. Time made the difference and not giving up the search. I did find a home church where I worship, teach, serve and pursue the things and places God calls me. It also made me very aware if I… Read more »
Oh my gosh. We experienced this same thing when we first moved. It was just awful! In my mind, every church was welcoming and warm. Boy, did I get a wake up call! I’m so glad we have a home church now.❤️
I couldn’t agree more! A welcoming environment in our churches is critical because we must have genuine community to do the Christian Life! I do hope you found a good church!
You know I feel like God has put it on my heart to seek out lonely people at church and befriend them, or at least say hello and introduce myself. I’m an introvert, but it’s a way I can serve my church family and build community.