Lesson Learned About Prayer Through Community
As many of you know, my husband and I adopted Benjamin from birth. The entire process took over three years, but the “waiting game” was almost two years. We struggled…hard. We experienced anger, heartache, doubt, and guilt through those two years. During this time, we had a village praying for us (notice I said the word for).
One time, when I was sharing our frustrations with my friend Kayci, she said something I will never forget. She said, “I am praying with you.” It actually made me stop and think, mainly because I had never heard it before. So many times, people had said they were praying FOR us. I had never heard someone say they were praying WITH us. That was the beginning of a prayer journey for me that I never had thought I would take.
To be 100% transparent, I don’t have the best prayer life. I used to have a prayer journal and make time, but even then I would fall asleep. However, hearing Kayci use the word “WITH” slowly changed my perspective of prayer and community. I think the word “FOR” is great if you are speaking a general, broad prayer over something/someone. This new word “WITH” in my prayer life means something different. It means that my prayer for a person has to be interactive. It isn’t just going home and praying for the person before I go to bed. It means that I need to reach deeper into the lives of those in my faith community and neighborhood. It means communicating with those that are struggling and remembering to reach out to them beyond the initial contact.
Verses that focus on prayer:
Jeremiah 29:12
”Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”
John 17:15
”My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.”
Mark 11:24
”Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
Psalm 145:18
“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”
So how has this word “WITH” changed my perspective?
1. I no longer try to assume that someone is doing okay, even if that person says they are.
2. When I think about someone who I know is struggling with something, I tell them. It’s difficult to feel your support group if they are silent. This was huge during our adoption, so I want to give that back to our faith community.
3. I attempt to reach out to people I haven’t seen in a while. I know it makes me feel special when someone notices that I’m not there. Why not use that tool to connect with community and see if a “praying with someone” opportunity presents itself?
4. It made me think about who I am praying about. Am I praying for the people I should? Am I only praying for those who are in my home or around me? Something that I want to commit to this school year is praying for community leaders and church leaders. These leaders interact with those around us every day. We need to be praying for the people who pour into us and our community.
5. Literally praying WITH someone is always better than praying for them when you get home to do it.
I hope that this blog is a blessing to you about prayer, faith, and community! Perhaps you will gain a new perspective just as I did!
Be encouraged by these posts as well!

- Prayer for Moms Across the World - May 7, 2018
- Staying Still: Learning the Spiritual Discipline of Meditation - January 31, 2018
- Living Out Love on Valentine’s Day - January 24, 2018
I love this perspective shift! Truly encouraging & thought provoking!
Thank you!!
I love this, Lori. Such a great reminder to pray with people – we join together to do that. Amen. Loved the verses you shared too. God bless.
I think so many times we think that prayer is an intimate, one on one moment with God. It definitely can be, but there is some spiritual richness in praying with people! Thank you for your response.
I never thought through it like that! Great perspective! Thanks for sharing!
I never thought of it until someone mentioned it! Just thankful that God helped me receive that spiritual blessing.
Wow, I love the difference such a small word makes! “With” implies that they are there with you, inside your situation with you, interceding. “For” implies that you are outside the situation looking down from a perch.
To an extent, that’s how I think too. I’m not advocating that every Christian should change their words or that people are less empathetic if they use “for.” I just hope that my loved experience helps people understand that “with” my promote more of a community focus through prayer. Thanks for sharing!
Interesting take. We also never really pray alone . The Hoy Spirit and the great cloud of witness pray with us!
Very true! I just know that during our adoption, there were some days that other people’s faith kept us moving forward. We had some deep faith valleys during our waiting! Hearing someone say that they were “with” helped give us that strength we needed to move forward.
Lori, this is a great perspective. Using the word with, definitely makes it seem that much more real and for the ones doing the praying seems to give a great sense of responsibility and accountability. I’m going to start using that! Thanks for sharing. – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
Thank you for reading the blog! I hope that this new perspective helps you in your faith.