The Heart of a Mother

A lot of prayer and thought has gone into whether or not to write this post. For you see, I am your acquaintance, your old high school friend, your daughter, your granddaughter, a person you sit next to in worship. I am your Facebook friend. I am typically very transparent in my life but there is an area that I only share with those closet to me. Those free of judgement and “Well, you need to…” statements.

You see, a year ago my daughter, a high school student, through tears of shame and fear told me that she was gay. It was nothing I did not already suspect.

This is a journey that my “tribe” rarely speaks of and in the past has not been a topic tied to love and grace. As the headlines of the supreme court decision began to hit social media, I quickly saw my news feed divide. Mostly, it was profile pictures turning to rainbows or some pretty heartless, condemning, and unkind statements. My heart began to sink as I noticed some of these people were people my daughter looked up to and were even related to.

I wanted to scream of my daughter’s struggle and that these hurtful statements were beyond counter productive. There are a lot of things I do not know about this journey for my daughter. I don’t know what this will look like in her life. I don’t know all the right things to do or say.

BUT what I do know is: I love my daughter. I will walk beside her on this journey and not try to drag her on the journey I think she needs. I will pray over her daily. I DO trust God to work in my daughter’s life and be Lord of her life.

This is my verse for my child.

We know all the scriptures that have been listed. We know all the theologies you could discuss with us. That is not what my daughter needs. She needs to know she is loved.

She needs to know that she is loved by God’s people unlike any other people on earth. I truly believe that God created us to crave community and I have done everything in my power to make it well-know to my children that the church is that community. This week has placed my daughter back into a place of shame and you see, as a mom I do not want to tell her story but I want her to know I am not ashamed of her.

What I wanted my Facebook status to be this week was:

There are young eyes that are watching how “our tribe” will respond to this day. Young eyes that are searching and struggling with their sexuality. They are looking for a safe place. A place filled with love to navigate a difficult journey. We need to remember that they may be reading Facebook today through a frame of insecurity and fear and if they do not find an overwhelming feeling of love, they might just determine not only are they better off turning their back on God and anyone claiming to be “His people” but also maybe this life. Please post wisely and thoughtfully. Do you want to be right or do you want to exude God’s love?

Luke 15:20 says “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him…” Only love brings us back to God’s open arms.

Are you willing to help me love my daughter and anyone else who is struggling, so that they too may feel Christ’s hands & feet at work in their lives?