Dear Small One,
Each day brings us a little closer–not to meeting (I feel we have already done that) but to meeting face to face.
I loved you before I knew your little life was blooming inside me. I loved you before I knew logically you could be a possibility. And I love you even more fiercely today.
Each time I hear your heartbeat or feel the flutter of your movement, I am filled with awe. It’s not unexpected. I knew it with your brother. And yet, it never seems to grow old. The wonder and the excitement and the awe-inspiring beauty of you being formed inside my womb.
Before I knew you were here, I prayed for you. For you to come, for you to join our family, to make it one person bigger, and one person richer, I have prayed. I prayed for you to be healthy and to grow, not just physically and mentally inside me but also when you grow outside of me, that you will find the best the world has to offer: the Lord and His people. I pray for you still. And I pray for me to be the kind of mother that you need, the kind of mother that God needs.
And though I have not seen your face, though I have not held your tiny fingers, though it is only on the inside that you are being held and not by my arms, I know a little bit of you. I sense your curiosity and strong will as you push back when your brother leans against me. When I take the time to be still and lie down, I know your joy and energy as I feel you swirl inside me. I hear your fluttering, pounding heart and I know that you are made deftly, creatively, uniquely by the strongest and gentlest fingers there are: the Lord’s.
And dear small one, I am so glad that I know you. You are an answer to prayer.
I love you, always and forever,