I am an Oklahoman by birth, a Texan by current living situation, but claim the world as my playground.I love to travel and hope to someday soon take our family on adventures to far off lands, where we can share God with others and experience all the wonders He has created.
I am a mother of 5 crazy, homeschooling children ages 10 & under, wife to an amazing man, and daughter of the King of the Universe!I enjoy reading, making my kids laugh, cooking, all things natural, learning to play guitar and dusting off my piano skills.One day I hope to run again, but until then I’m learning patience.
Oh, Lord, your ways are not my ways, but I want your ways to be my ways. Many times, however, I struggle and fight your ways. Does anyone else but me seem to have this issue? I’ve had my share of Gideon moments. I’m not always hiding out but sometimes I struggle to understand if this is REALLY what God wants.
The Struggle
I think I struggle with accepting what God wants when it tends not to go along with what I initially want. I don’t always know what I want but there are times, I know I don’t initially want what He is calling me to do. Can you relate?
I think that is why when I read the story of Gideon, I feel like I can relate a little. Here I am feeling like I am not the best choice for the position God is calling me to, but feeling called nonetheless. And I just want to make sure that I know I’ve heard God right!
Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised—look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.”And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.
Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.”That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew. Judges 6:36-40
My latest Gideon moment
It started a handful of months ago. An idea popped into my head and I thought, “Well, that’s not a bad idea but I don’t necessarily think I need to do it.”
Like all ideas, I started to vet them out, because if they are not from God, I want to know and stop them immediately.
Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1
So, how do I vet these thoughts?
I bump them up against God’s word. If all is good, then continue to the next point.
Pray about it.
Specifically ask if this is something God wants me to do.
Then ask if this is something God wants me to do now or does He have a different timeline in mind.
Then pray about accepting it, especially if it is something I didn’t initially want to do. Asking for forgiveness for not following God immediately typically falls in this step for me, too.
Over the past several months, I have been going through this process. I kept getting the green light from God, even though most of the time I would have preferred a red. And then my Gideon moment finally came.
I did everything I felt I was supposed to do to get the ball rolling. I obeyed. But I wanted to make sure this was really what He wanted me to do. I didn’t want to go against His will at all and just felt very torn. So I laid my garment out and said to God,
“You know I want to obey you. I want your ways to be my ways but I’m torn. I’m not sure this is even going to work out because after committing to do a certain job, I realized I forgot to mention that I might be moving, I’m going out of town for a bit, and my availability isn’t flexible at all. Lord, I have to tell them this and if it is not your will, help them to not accept my help. Let me know once again that this is from you and I’m not doing this outside of you. Let them say yes, if it’s from you.”
Truly, with what I had to share, it would have been very easy for them to say no and I sorta hoped they would, but instead I received a cheerful yes.
My Pride
And then I cried. I cried for many reasons, one being that right now I’m just extra emotional. (We’ve had a tough year. Even though I see and feel all of God’s blessings, it is still a little difficult.) Then I cried because doing this means I will be away from my kids for a little bit. Last but not least, I cried because I realized my pride was standing in the way of what God was calling me to do.
It was the last that got me the most. I always want to be open to whatever God is calling me to do, but in this case, I stumbled over my pride.
I’m thankful for God’s grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness. I’m thankful for God finding ways to show me where pride is still lurking in my heart. He is molding me, just like He is molding you.
When setbacks happen in your spiritual life, realize He will use them for His glory and to mold you into the person He needs you to be. He is merciful and full of forgiveness. May we all seek His forgiveness as He continues to shine light on the darkness lurking in our hearts.
May you be encouraged the next time you too have a Gideon moment. God can take you where you are and then show you why you should wholeheartedly put your faith in Him!
Just for fun, here is a hilarious song about Gideon that a local congregation created for their VBS week:
I am an Oklahoman by birth, a Texan by current living situation, but claim the world as my playground.I love to travel and hope to someday soon take our family on adventures to far off lands, where we can share God with others and experience all the wonders He has created.
I am a mother of 5 crazy, homeschooling children ages 10 & under, wife to an amazing man, and daughter of the King of the Universe!I enjoy reading, making my kids laugh, cooking, all things natural, learning to play guitar and dusting off my piano skills.One day I hope to run again, but until then I’m learning patience.
Just like the rest of the book, James holds nothing back as he writes about favoritism and mercy in James 2.
When we start to get puffed up and prideful, James causes us to step back and re-evaluate our hearts. He constantly helps us keep our focus on Jesus and reminds us that we are servants of Jesus who have received an immense amount of mercy.
James calls our hearts to show this same mercy to others. He urges Christians to not make it harder for them than it was for us. If we do, he warns us the tables will be flipped and we will be judged much more harshly.
Let’s dig into the first part of James chapter 2 together and let God’s words soak into our hearts so our actions will glorify Him and bring others to Him!
Lord, you look at our hearts and not our outward appearance. We pray that we would not play favorites but instead see all people as your amazing creation! You love each person walking this earth whether they know you yet or not. You do not want to lose anyone but want everyone to come to know salvation through your son, Jesus Christ.
Give us your heart for your people so that we may feel the same. Let us be passionate about reaching out to all people and not just those who make us feel comfortable.
Oh, how you made people uncomfortable as you walked this earth! You called everyone to you. You did not play favorites. Let us openly share your love with everyone, too, no matter their age, race, socioeconomic status, etc. Let us see people through your eyes! And let them feel your love through us!
James 2:2-4
Lord, we love how you never beat around the bush with us. We don’t have to guess where we stand with you or if our hearts are in line with yours. You tell us like it is. Your word and the Holy Spirit prick our hearts when we wander from your ways and it’s up to us to listen or not.
May we keep this James passage in our hearts, so we don’t “discriminate among [ourselves] and become judges with evil thoughts.”
As we reach out to others in your name, help us to not be choosy. You do not judge people by their looks and you ask us to not fall into that trap either. You call us not to play favorites.
We pray that we will see each person as your amazing creation. Help us love them in a way that reflects your heart for them. May each person we encounter leave our presence knowing we really care for them. Let them be seen by us even if they don’t feel they are seen by anyone else. In our seeing them and loving them, let them feel your love.
In the One who died for everyone – Amen!
James 2:5
Lord, we know we can only serve one God! Help us to not worship anything other than you. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in titles, money, or ourselves that we leave you out. Wake us up!
Help us see that our truest wealth is in our faith which lasts eternally. In the One who gave us hope and forgiveness when we couldn’t achieve this for ourselves – Amen!
James 2:6-7
Oh, Lord, we often fall into determining someone’s value based on their wealth. Their wealth tells us nothing of their heart or their love for you. Help us not to insult the poor and elevate the rich.
We pray that you will help us reach out to others without selfish motives like James addresses here. Help us not to disregard those in humble circumstances in order to try and elevate ourselves with those who show their disdain for you and treat others badly.
You have called us to honor you with whatever you have blessed us with, and at the same time you call us not to play favorites. Help us to have humble hearts, to follow your example of loving all and not judging a person by their economic status or what they can do for us. In the One who is the richest of all and yet humbled himself on the cross for our sake – Amen!
James 2:8
Lord, you boiled down the entirety of the law into an easy to remember statement:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself.
It’s easy to remember but sometimes so difficult to put into action. However, you provide us with your Spirit so we can do this. Help us focus on trying to use your power and not our own.
In the One who is our strength – Amen!
James 2:9
There is such beauty in the diversity you’ve created. You’ve created each of us with different talents and different backgrounds which bring about different understanding and perspectives.
Then, instead of encouraging people to split up into their own groups, you created the body of Christ to be a community that brings all these different people together. We have differences but Christ brings us together. Praise you, Lord, for providing a place of unity and grace!
Oh, Lord, let us not create division where you have created unity. Let us not look down on someone just because they are different from us mentally, physically, or emotionally, because spiritually you have made us one. There is one Lord, one faith, and one baptism. It is in Him we have our hope. Let the sin of favoritism be far from our hearts. In Jesus’ holy name – Amen!
James 2:10-11
Oh, Lord! We screw up all the time. If it’s not showing favoritism, it’s something else…lying to keep from hurting someone’s feelings, delighting in things you would condemn, gossiping instead of giving grace and love, etc…
Oh, Lord, we praise you for Jesus because without Him we would be lost. The law cannot save us. The law is your beautiful word that shows us your righteousness and how unrighteous we are. It shows us our complete and utter need for you.
We pray that as we confess and bring our hearts before you, you will help us see through our prideful eyes where sin still exists in our lives. Yes, with your help we have conquered certain sins but others may still be lurking.
May we never get so prideful that we stop seeing sin in our lives while gleefully pointing it out in others. May we allow the Holy Spirit to convict us so we can honor you and be used for your glory. In the One who was completely sinless and yet took on all our sins – Amen!
James 2:12-13(a)
Your amazing law gives us such freedom. Along with that freedom came mercy and saving grace! We praise you, Lord, for the mercy you’ve had on us when justice demanded our sins to be paid. Instead of making us pay, you took them all on yourself.
May we show mercy to others so that we will show our thankfulness to you for your mercy toward us. In Jesus’ holy name – Amen!
James 2:13(b)
Lord, it’s only through your mercy that we have forgiveness. Praise you and the plan you made to pour mercy out on our souls.
Satan cannot stand when your mercy is accepted and given freely. His plans are destroyed and souls are freed.
Your mercy triumphs over judgement!
In the One who took all our sins on himself so we would not be condemned – Amen!
Hey! While most of my life was spent in Colorado, I am happy to now call Oklahoma my home. I am amazingly blessed to have a supportive and God-fearing husband who is also a terrific dad to our four kiddos (who we had in a 3 year 9 month time frame). I love to drink coffee, sing, hear people’s stories and have dance parties. I am passionate about my relationship with Jesus and desire to share that gift with every person that I meet. My hope is that I can encourage someone today with and through the Word of God and His steadfast love. ::psalm 27:4::
“Now the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
Genesis 2:18
It’s there, in the scriptures.
From the very beginning we are told that it’s not good for us to be alone and that we need help. But here we are, living in a world of self-help books, self-made millionaires, and selfie sticks. Friends, what makes us think that doing life alone is better than God’s plan of unity and community? Why do we think that being independent in our own strength is better than being dependent on His strength?
I’ll be the first to say that I am guilty of falling for the lie that says we need to be completely independent in order to be strong and successful, and that asking for help is a sign of weakness or vulnerability. In fact, for most of my life, I prided myself on the ability to learn and accomplish things without the help of others, whether it be in school, work, or sports. That pride was rooted so deep in me that it drove me to do things on my own rather than ask or accept help from those around me–even if I needed it. Sure, I was able to achieve goals and even feel accomplished and successful at times, but what was missing from my life was far greater than I realized.
Fooled into Thinking I Was Independent
When I left for out-of-state college right after high school, I was fooled into thinking that I was completely independent and free to make any choices I wanted, without needing the direction of anyone…including the Holy Spirit. I felt as though I was wise and strong enough to stand on my own and that there was no real immediate need for church, discipleship, and/or even community with strong believers. After all, up to this point I hadn’t faced much adversity, really only joy and fulfillment. My thought process was essentially, “I got this. I know who I am. I’ll make the right decisions for me.” But in reality, the only thing I had was a false sense of security, confidence, and a lack of true identity.
“In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” Psalm 10:4
“Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them.” Proverbs 26:12
The result of my disastrous decision making and my “independence” led me to a place where Isaiah 23:9 became a reality in my life…
“The LORD Almighty planned it, to bring down her pride in all her splendor and to humble…”
The Truth of My Success
God had to aggressively, yet lovingly, break off this lie and pride I was walking under by allowing me to make my own poor choices which led to some pretty hard consequences and a lot of pain. Unfortunately, the season of growing and sifting took several years, millions of tears, and a few broken hearts. But He had to remind me that apart from Him, I was nothing. That all those years of blessing, protection, and grace from my parents and others were indeed His doing, not my own. That while I was thinking my “success” was because of my skill and drive, it was really because He was gracious in filling all the gaps I missed and patching up the holes I made.
You see, I was never doing it on my own. I might have not seen it because I was so focused on myself, but I was being helped daily, regardless if I wanted it or not. That’s the amazing thing about a loving God, He doesn’t just leave us to take life on by ourselves…even if that’s what we think we want.
“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”
John 14:26
“…He will never leave you nor forsake you…”
Deuteronomy 31:6
“My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth”
Psalm 121:2
Depend on God for True Joy
Friends, whether we like to admit it or not, we need God’s help in everything we say and do. We need to depend on Him and His strength, not our own. Otherwise, we will lead a life of false contentment and at best, temporary delight. True fulfillment and everlasting joy can only come from complete humility, obedience and dependence on the Lord.
“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand”
Psalm 16:11
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”
James 4:10
So what do you say? Are you willing to…
…humble yourself and admit you are nothing apart from Him?
…accept His help, whether in the form of correction or the simple support of a friend?
…be found weak in your own strength, so that you may be found strong in His?
I am a recovering Army brat who loves to travel and start new adventures. My handsome husband and I met at Oklahoma Christian University and he whisked me away to Kansas. So, I bought some ruby red high heels and made Topeka my home. I have a rough and rowdy Princess 4-year-old girl, amazing twin boys (almost 3) and a newborn baby girl who all make every day an adventure. We are grateful to be part of an amazing church in Topeka who regularly challenges and encourages our whole family. I have been both a full-time working mom and a stay-at-home-mom and/or both at the same time at one point or another. I am constantly seeking God’s wisdom on “balancing it all” and following His plan for my life, not mine.
After less sleep than I would have preferred, one of my one year olds woke up that morning jammie and diaper free with poop smeared all over his crib. My almost three year old spent the day whining and disobeying every direction I gave to her. My other son decided it was interesting to hide my phone in a floor vase in my foyer. It took me over an hour to find it. Fast forward through a busy conference call and countless emails zapped out as fast as possible during the kids’ nap time, but not nearly as many as I had hoped. My to do list for the day was 25 things long and I felt sidelined at every one. By 4pm, I looked around at my disaster of a house and started to wonder how long I could get away with closing the door to the bathroom for one minute to myself. The answer was 10 seconds. Constant somethings. I felt myself getting angry at my “failed day” where I had seemingly accomplished nothing except keeping everyone fed and alive. I have found myself succumbing to my weariness lately and letting it foster a feeling of overwhelming pressure on my chest. Stress.
Honestly, it seems like this past month has been more stressful than usual. There are a few additional things we have added to our plates as a family, but in the midst of a recent stress-filled sleepless night I realized my angst was over things that either…
A) I have no actual control over or
B) weren’t items that required as much focus and energy as I was expelling or
C) were actually just fine.
I took the opportunity at 4am to do some introspection and pray. At first, I’ll be honest I was hoping that as I began to pray I would finally just fall asleep, but the Lord was ready to talk to me and take my burden. He realigned my perspective, showed me what mattered on “my list” and reminded me to focus on Him and not what this world wanted. This probably sounds obvious, but these are daily struggles for me.
There are a lot of things God is leading my family through right now, but some we have taken on ourselves. Discerning the difference can be a challenge but I am reminded of Philippians 1: 9-11 (NIV):
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Additionally, when we begin our day with an eternal perspective and not an earthly one, it is SO.MUCH.BETTER.
Another hard lesson I have to learn time and again is that God will raise up someone to do what He needs done in the world. Sometimes it’s me, oftentimes it is not. I have to tell myself, “Sit down, Pride. Other people have amazing gifts and whatever it is that God has called YOU too is enough and it is so much more than you can dream. What God has for you is GOOD in the full meaning of the word. And you aren’t in this alone.”
Our goal here in this life is about furthering the Kingdom of God, and guess what? The Lord has already planned for us what He wants us to do, we just have to listen and obey. It’s liberating really, not having to come up with all of these grand schemes and do everything on our own. I just put Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) on my chalk board in the bathroom:
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
I just love that verse. We are ALL God’s handiwork and HE has a plan for us all set out if we would just let Him guide each day. Seriously. I’m not saying we shouldn’t work hard, or be busy, or feel a little out of our element sometimes.
Instead, we should capture each thought, each task, each day, as one that God has prepared for us. We should have relief from stress knowing God is in control, not us. He will equip you for what He has called you to do, He will show you what is important in your day and what is not and He alone will bring you joy.
We are called to meet His standards, not the world’s. His aren’t easier standards, but they are different. I can promise you this: we will still have tough days and trials in this world of all kinds, big and small. The difference is that when we adjust our perspective and seek insight and wisdom in the tasks we have set before us, God will guide you to what He has given you to accomplish- and it is good.
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