The Importance of a People Pleaser Saying “No”
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I am a “people pleaser.” If someone asks me to do something, I usually say yes. It does not matter how busy I am or what I have going on. It is almost impossible for me to say no. I want to help everyone.
As a result, I am overwhelmed and stressed at times. Sometimes, I feel that way even when someone simply asks me to do something. I fill my schedule and then cannot give my fullest to the things that I have (over)committed to. Of course, I then start neglecting other things because I have too much to do.
Several years ago, a lady from church called to ask if I could make a dessert for a funeral dinner. Despite feeling overwhelmed, I really wanted to do it. I started asking a lot of questions trying to figure out how to fit this into my schedule and life with small children. This wonderful lady stopped me and then told me it was okay if I could not do it; she understood. I tried to tell her I could do it. She told me I could do it the next time and not to worry about it. I felt such a huge sense of relief come over me when she said that. I realized that my need to say yes was a problem. At that moment, I knew I no longer had to say yes to everything.
It was time to focus on the important things: my husband and children, and most importantly, God. It was then that I once again began starting my day with God. I started praying about things I was asked to do instead of always saying yes. My focus shifted to the things that matter. Although I struggled and it took a while, I did learn to say, “No.”
Are you a people pleaser?
Can you say no when someone asks you to do something?