Hey! While most of my life was spent in Colorado, I am happy to now call Oklahoma my home. I am amazingly blessed to have a supportive and God-fearing husband who is also a terrific dad to our four kiddos (who we had in a 3 year 9 month time frame). I love to drink coffee, sing, hear people’s stories and have dance parties. I am passionate about my relationship with Jesus and desire to share that gift with every person that I meet. My hope is that I can encourage someone today with and through the Word of God and His steadfast love. ::psalm 27:4::
When I say that I love people, I mean that…I LOVE PEOPLE. Just being around new people or in a group setting gets me excited. Does anyone out there feel the same way? There is just something so fun and refreshing about seeing new faces, hearing everyone’s stories, and growing relationships. It’s truly the main reason why I love hosting large parties or get-togethers. I will invite a good chunk of my phone book, for no other reason than I genuinely want to share life with others. Sure, it may increase the budget for the party, but if there is something to celebrate, I want others to share in it with us! Why not, right?
I have always sincerely believed that the more people you surround yourself with, the more encouragement and joy there will be in your life. Truly a “the more, the merrier” mentality.
For over thirty years I have never seen a problem with being wired that way…that is, until lately. As I started to think about planning birthday parties for my kids and summer BBQs and began looking at our list of “friends” to invite, I realized that while they may be on our guest list, we may not be on theirs.
** Now, before you think that this is turning into a big ol’ pity party,I can assure you it’s not. So please don’t give up on me yet! **
Believing Lies Based on Missed Expectations
The truth is, I am a sinful human being and am guilty of reacting in my flesh frequently, so I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t initially feel hurt, betrayed, and bitter at one person’s “oversight” of my feelings. This weird encounter (which truly did nothing more than leave me feeling awkward), completely opened the floodgates of undealt with emotion from over the years. It’s as though I had a flip book of memories and times where I was hurt by a friend flipping rapidly through my mind, taking my thoughts to extremes and probably exaggerating what really happened by 1000%.
Y’all, my mind was out of control. I truly was walking with some nasty lies. Thankfully, my wonderful mentor (mom), was there to listen to me ramble as I talked myself in circles until the truth punched me in the face: IT WAS MY FAULT.
You heard (or rather, read) that right: The pain I felt was actually my fault. Why? MISSED EXPECTATIONS. Here is the hard truth I had to receive:
Any expectation I placed on another was a setup for relationship failure from the beginning.
The moment I decided what type of friend they should be to me was the moment I became less of a true friend myself. I focused on how they treated me, rather than on their heart and how I should treat them.
A Godly, yet Complicated Friendship
Of course, as with everything, the Holy Spirit oh-so-graciously reminded how I was wrong and pointed me to the Word and the friendship between Jonathan and David. You guys, talk about a complicated relationship. You can read all about it in 1 and 2 Samuel, but this passage about this one selfless act essentially sums up how Jonathan was a true friend, despite all the circumstances and trials that the two faced.
“… Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself… And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow, and his belt.”
“Clearly Saul intended for Jonathan to become the second king of Israel (1 Sam 20:30-31), but this son had other plans. In David, Jonathan saw character fit for a king. He was so determined that the throne be occupied by God’s chosen instrument that he offered everything he had…Jonathan sacrificed himself. He removed his royal regalia…and placed it on David.”
Jonathan literally gave up everything to help encourage and support his friend David in all that God had called him to be. Nowhere does it say that David ever reciprocated that love and sacrificed as Jonathan had, yet Jonathan remained loyal to his friend. Better yet, Jonathan remained loyal to God.
You see, it shouldn’t matter how others treat us.
If God has placed on our hearts to love, support, and walk with someone as a friend (Amos 3:3), we need to be faithful to that calling, not only in the good seasons, but also in the hard ones. This isn’t about how they make us feel, but rather about being who God has called each one of us to be and how we are to make others feel.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works… encouraging one another…”
-Hebrews 10:24
Unconditional Friendship
I still love people and will continue to throw huge celebrations. The difference is, when I call someone friend, it holds no expectation of them. It simply acknowledges that regardless of their choices or how they may treat me, I will continue to welcome, love, and encourage them as Christ does me.
“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”
-Romans 15:5-7
So what do you say, friend?
Are you willing to take the road less traveled and pursue a life of obedience to the Lord in seeking out the welfare and accomplishments of others over yourself, even if that means giving while never receiving? To be that selfless, abiding friend like Jonathan, full of love and encouragement so that he/she may pursue who God has called them to be?
When reading the scriptures detailing the death of Jesus Christ, believers often acknowledge that they sometimes can be difficult to get through. Yes, our souls celebrate the freedom resulting from that moment, but our hearts also mourn the harshness and pain of it, too. Jen Wilkin has said, “The heart cannot love what the mind does not know.” I get that. Many times I have read through the scripture’s account of everything from the Last Supper to when Jesus cried out His last breath. For a long time, I didn’t love reading it. I didn’t love the words my eyes took in, because my mind did not understand what was there to see. Reading through those passages now, with a desire and purpose to understand, brings about a new meaning.
Many things could be written concerning those last moments before the death of Jesus Christ. For this post, I want to focus on the obedience Jesus displayed. Christ’s perfect obedience to His Father is so powerfully and beautifully laid out; I wonder how I never saw it all those years ago.
At the Garden of Gethsemane, we get a glimpse of an intimate moment between Father and Son. We read the words Jesus spoke aloud to His Father:
Going a little farther, He fell face down and prayed, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will” Matthew 26:39 (HCSB).
Here we see Him not questioning. Rather, in full perfection, He submits to the rescue plan His good and loving Father had set in place since before the creation of the world. The Son lays down His life to His Father, so that He can then lay it down for ours.
The beauty of the Son’s perfect obedience, as scripture shows, is ours to soak up and savor. We acknowledge Jesus Christ’s beautiful and wonderful perfection as He lived, walked, suffered, and died in perfect submission to His Father. By reading these passages, I am fully aware that my obedience to God is not contingent on my own strength or capabilities. It is only possible because of and through the perfect submission of Jesus Christ to His Father.
Our lives could never be the perfection as that of Christ’s. He lived the life we could never live and died the death we deserve. But, what a glorious gift — that His obedience brings us hope. What a thing it is that His obedience perfected is ours gifted. What a marvel and joy it is that Christ’s perfect obedience resulted in our redemption.
For just as through one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so also through the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous. -Romans 5:19 (HCSB)
Toni was born and raised in a small town in Oklahoma.She graduated from East Central University with a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Business Administration with a concentration in Economics.After college, she returned to her hometown to marry her best friend, Charles.Toni is a stay at home mom to their three teens, two boys and a girl, whom God led them to homeschool.Her goal is to raise her children to love and serve the Lord.They live on a farm where they grow produce to sell at several farmers markets.She also plays the piano at church and teaches piano.
I have mentioned before that our son goes to the rival university of the rest of the family. His loyalty is to Oklahoma State University (OSU) while his dad graduated from the University of Oklahoma (OU). This is a huge rivalry in Oklahoma as evidenced by what the football, basketball, baseball, etc. games are called: BEDLAM!
I was forced to convert to an OU sports fanatic while dating my husband. We raised our children as OU fans, never thinking they would go anywhere other than OU. You can imagine our disappointment when our oldest son decided to go to OSU. I have even joked that we are failures as parents because of this. My husband and his brothers all attended OU. Sadly, none of their children have! This makes for very interesting get-togethers and conversations.
Loyalty to His Team
Last year, Bedlam took place on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Our son has student tickets and so he needed to leave early to get back to college because of impending bad weather. Since we were meeting him at my brother-in-law’s house, I brought him extra warm clothes, coats, and jackets since he had not packed much. His uncle proceeded to get one of his old OU windsuits out for him to wear! We all thought this was hysterical but my son was not amused.
His uncle decided that he would pay him to wear it. We all decided to get in on the action. Among all of us, we came up with $200.00 that we would pay him if he wore it and got on national TV. I just knew he would do it, being a poor college kid. He refused! Because he is loyal to his school, he could not be bought!
Where is Our Loyalty?
This got me thinking. What is our price? What is our price to change sides? What is our price to turn our backs on God? Many times it is a lot less than $200.00. We waste so much time on things not worthy. We embrace sin, turning not to God but to man. Our priorities are out of order, and our worldly desires easily sway us.
As Christians, we are to be “Christ-like.” We are to show Him to the world through us. I can honestly say that I do not always do this. 1 Corinthians 6:20 states, ” For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” Jesus paid the ultimate price for us. He gave his life on the cross for our sins so that we may have eternal life. He paid the price for us. We should want to honor Him, live for Him, be loyal to Him.
Toni was born and raised in a small town in Oklahoma.She graduated from East Central University with a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Business Administration with a concentration in Economics.After college, she returned to her hometown to marry her best friend, Charles.Toni is a stay at home mom to their three teens, two boys and a girl, whom God led them to homeschool.Her goal is to raise her children to love and serve the Lord.They live on a farm where they grow produce to sell at several farmers markets.She also plays the piano at church and teaches piano.
I have had a really difficult time with this post. I started on my post two times and it failed to save both times. I decided that meant that God had another post in mind for me to write. I was trying to come up with another topic and was really struggling so I took a break and went to a meeting that I had wanted to attend. It is a group of wonderful Christian women and we were having a wonderful discussion.
Someone mentioned that as a strong, independent woman, she had a difficult time accepting help. We continued this discussion and that is when God hit me on the head.
Like so many other women, I am a fixer, a caregiver. I try to make everything okay for everyone. I can do just about anything myself from driving a tractor to building a house. I am independent and I never like to ask for help. I turn it down most of the time when offered. I know there are a lot of us out there.
Is help easily accepted or quickly rejected?
Our family was recently hit with tragedy again recently. Our nephew’s family was in a horrific car wreck. Three of the four members of the family were hospitalized at the time of the accident. The youngest, a thirteen month old, was released first but re-admitted within the week. I could tell by their messages that my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and nephew were exhausted and distraught.
I told them I would come to the hospital and help with the baby so that they could get some rest. My sister-in-law insisted that I was too busy and should not come. I told her that I was almost done with the work I had to complete and then would be on my way. She did not want to accept help!
While I was at the hospital, they did not rest much; however, my sister-in-law and I went down to the cafeteria for lunch. We had a nice visit and hopefully it was the break she needed from the PICU. I tried entertaining the baby and helped with feeding him. It brought back lots of memories of when my children were that little. I got to be silly and I think that was what I needed.
Don’t deprive others of a blessing
One of the things that was mentioned at my meeting this morning was that when you tell someone that you do not need help, you are depriving them of a blessing. That thought really hit home as that was exactly what I got from driving up to “help” with the baby. I was tired when I left but I had fun. I enjoyed my visit with everyone and got to play with a baby and try to bring a smile to his face. That was my blessing and will stick with me for a long time.
I had not realized the significance of that hospital visit until my meeting this morning. God does not want us to be alone and do everything on our own. We need to depend on each other and be willing to accept help. But most importantly, we need to depend on Him.
Toni was born and raised in a small town in Oklahoma.She graduated from East Central University with a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Business Administration with a concentration in Economics.After college, she returned to her hometown to marry her best friend, Charles.Toni is a stay at home mom to their three teens, two boys and a girl, whom God led them to homeschool.Her goal is to raise her children to love and serve the Lord.They live on a farm where they grow produce to sell at several farmers markets.She also plays the piano at church and teaches piano.
Mother’s Day! It’s the day that we show our love for our moms. We make her breakfast in bed; take her to dinner; shower her with flowers and gifts. We put her needs first. We treat her in the selfless manner in which she has treated us.
We treasure mothers because of how they have treasured us! Why are mothers so special?From day one, mothers have a unique bond with their children. They have prayed for us and carried us in their hearts (and most of the time, in their bellies.) Mothers are typically the primary caregivers. Mothers, in general, are just more sympathetic and empathetic.
As mothers, we all have our ideal Mother’s Day in mind from the first moment we find out we are going to be a mother. (Did you know that there are more phone calls made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year–even more than Christmas? Fathers don’t get this kind of attention. See how special mothers are?)
I believe sometimes we carry our ideal day too far. We take on an attitude quite the opposite of what is being celebrated to make sure that we get OUR day! This belief leads to an entitlement mentality, for lack of a better word.
We forget that we would NOT be mothers if it were not for our children. Our children are a gift from God! They are our responsibility! A friend’s favorite scripture is,
“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 NASB.
This is our duty. This is our God-given job! This does not make us special. Are we special at work because weare a (insert title here)? No! It’s how wehandle our position and how wedo our job that CAN make usspecial.
Your child is the one that is special. And I don’t mean that in a spoiled, entitled way. They are special because they are who God gave us. God entrusted us to raise these children for Him, to care for them, and to lead them to life with our words and actions.
So, moms, we can go ahead and enjoy our day. But, let’s remember that it’s not just about us, it’s about them too.
Moms, are you doing your job because it’s your God-given calling?
….or for the accolades?
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