I am a recovering Army brat who loves to travel and start new adventures. My handsome husband and I met at Oklahoma Christian University and he whisked me away to Kansas. So, I bought some ruby red high heels and made Topeka my home. I have a rough and rowdy Princess 4-year-old girl, amazing twin boys (almost 3) and a newborn baby girl who all make every day an adventure. We are grateful to be part of an amazing church in Topeka who regularly challenges and encourages our whole family. I have been both a full-time working mom and a stay-at-home-mom and/or both at the same time at one point or another. I am constantly seeking God’s wisdom on “balancing it all” and following His plan for my life, not mine.
These are perhaps two of the most difficult concepts to grasp as a mother. The glass of wine…well that’s just well deserved.
Becoming a mother opens a whole new realm of inner struggles and identity searching. Let’s face it, I’ve prayed for patience, wisdom and strength more in one hour today than I ever did before kids.
When I read this article, I was a new stay at home mom and I felt alone.
Alone and burdened; inadequate and overwhelmed. The struggle surrounding the self-created isolation was real. I don’t know if the author of the article is a Christian, but the longing for a daily fellowship or cohesive community rang true to my soul.
And then I remembered I had that available to me in spades.
At least I should…within the body of Christ; fellow believers and fellow moms in all stages and situations raising their children to love the Lord. Truly, this is the fellowship we crave isn’t it?!
Psalm 133:1-3 (ESV) says:
Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity! 2 It is like the precious oil on the head,
running down on the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
running down on the collar of his robes! 3 It is like the dew of Hermon,
which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,
life forevermore.
How good it is when we dwell in unity, it is like precious oil on the head.
My heart swells when I read those verses and think about my relationships with other Christians, most especially my “mommy friends”. Sadly, our culture and society has pitted us “mommies” against one another for various reasons and “atrocities” we commit in our life choices. Stay at home moms vs. working moms, moms of one vs. moms of twelve, moms of _______ vs. the world.
We all struggle.
Whether we work full time, stay at home or anything else in between, I believe we all continue struggle with feeling alone in our choice, like a lone warrior on a quest for well-adjusted children. The pride that often rears its ugly head in motherhood sometimes fosters a defensive or competitive spirit even in the most subtle of ways, or even insecurity because we are guilty of not giving each other grace. It’s even harder to give ourselves grace. Then we feel discontentment.
1 Peter 4:10 (ESV) says: 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:
All of our lives look as unique as the people Christ created us to be even before we were knit together in our own mother’s womb. As women of God, we should have an abundance of grace for other moms. We are called to love one another and many times, that looks like grace. It is so much easier to have grace for others when our heart is right with the Lord.
Sometimes it’s hard though…
sometimes we are angry about our own situation, or at the very least disillusioned as to what life or motherhood was supposed to look or feel like. Sometimes we feel displaced or overwhelmed, inadequate, or just plain exhausted. Sometimes it seems easier to run away. During these is when we need to remember Galatians 6:2 (ESV):
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Everyone struggles with contentment.
I am convinced that every mother, no matter what her situation, struggles with contentment in her “version” of motherhood. For me, I struggled with it the most after I had my first child. I found myself in a situation where I wanted to stay home but couldn’t (which hurt), but at the same time I struggled with loving my career and knowing that God had called me to do certain things outside the home. Then after my twins, I struggled with a calling to stay home with my kids in this season. I have been completely double minded, living on opposite spectrums of “my heart’s desire” searching for how to follow Christ’s will for my life. It seemed endless. Truly, the double mindedness of our own human hearts is at the center of the “mommy wars”.
You know what finally helped me find contentment and grace?
That community I mentioned. The body of Christ. Sisters in faith who listened, who mentored and who pointed me to God’s Word. A community of believers who challenged me in my double minded thinking, but also challenged me to understand that God’s will in an individual’s life is ultimately between that person and their Father.
I want to encourage women who feel isolated or discontent, or struggle with grace, to find a fellow believer in Christ as a prayer partner to hold you accountable for spending time in the Word and seeking Christ. I encourage you to be intentional in finding a mentor, an older sister in Christ who lives out Titus 2 and will teach you. These women can dwell with you in unity, they can bear your burdens and give you grace all while pointing you toward Christ and being a godly mom.
The important things to do.
That’s the most important thing: that we are purposing to grow in our relationship with Christ and disciple our children. Christian women in every stage of life and in every situation are striving toward that same chief end.
I pray that you find community, even here, and for you to know that you are not alone and that other women know exactly how you feel. Have grace on other moms, don’t let your pride, discontentment or defensiveness in your own life cause you to break fellowship with sisters in Christ or keep you from having a blessed friendship.
Finally, go have that glass of wine with a fellow sister or two. Or tea, or coffee. Or chocolate. Just build a deep community of faith in Christ, have grace for one another and be content in your season of life.
Romans 8:28 (ESV): And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,for those who are called according to his purpose.
Have you ever struggled with being discontent with your life ? What helped you overcome that feeling?
Wife, mom, daughter, teacher, blogger, crafter, organizer - but most and best of all, I am a Christian. I am passionate about my family and my God. I am married to my best friend and am blessed with a one year old son who keeps me busy all the time staying at home with him. And I am glad to be in the service of our incredible and awesome God.
It’s a common plight among moms–working moms, stay at home moms, new moms, older moms, moms with littles, moms with bigs. We’re tired. We’re burned out. We feel like there’s nothing more to give.
Have you been there? Are you there right now?
I want you to know some things. I want you to whisper them to your heart. They help me on hard days (and not so hard days). I hope that they help you when you experience mom burnout.
You are seen.
So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” ~ Hagar in Genesis 16:13
You are covered with His grace.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. ~ Hebrews 4:16
You are loved.
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ~ 1 John 4:9-10
Don’t you think that sometimes we put burdens on our hearts that were never meant to be placed there? Sometimes we need that nudge of guilt to drop the things that seem urgent but aren’t truly important in an eternal light. And sometimes, we need to pause and listen instead of rushing and doing.
Do fewer things, and do them well. Do them with great love.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
I am a recovering Army brat who loves to travel and start new adventures. My handsome husband and I met at Oklahoma Christian University and he whisked me away to Kansas. So, I bought some ruby red high heels and made Topeka my home. I have a rough and rowdy Princess 4-year-old girl, amazing twin boys (almost 3) and a newborn baby girl who all make every day an adventure. We are grateful to be part of an amazing church in Topeka who regularly challenges and encourages our whole family. I have been both a full-time working mom and a stay-at-home-mom and/or both at the same time at one point or another. I am constantly seeking God’s wisdom on “balancing it all” and following His plan for my life, not mine.
This is a post for fellow Moms of Multiples, a.k.a “MoM”s, and especially the mothers expecting multiples. It’s kind of like when people say that mom upside down is “wow.” So a mom of multiples must be “WoW!”
My husband didn’t get my joke. I hope you all do and if not, well, I was a poli-sci major. We’re not really known for our jokes unless you’re Kenneth Walzer…oh wait, still no jokes.
Anyway, I wanted to talk about having multiples.
I saw a Hunger Games meme where the main character raises her left hand high with the three-finger salute of admiration and the caption reads, “When I’m out and see another twin mom.” All I could think was, “Just. Yes.”
When I was pregnant with my twin boys, I read everything I could about being a twin mom. It was worse than the insatiable need for information I had with my first pregnancy. (I read when I’m nervous. Everything. It’s really counterproductive.)
Nonetheless, the unknown was overwhelming to me and I was basically terrified, but in the best way possible. I found a lot of lists that were supposed to be funny, I think. However, they were more scary than helpful. So, in an effort to add to the information about what to expect when you are a Mom of Multiples, I would like to share the 5 best things I experienced in the first year of having twins. Yes, you do survive the first year and it is a wonderful year!
5 Best Things I experienced in the First Year of Having Twins
My heart has never been so full.
I love my daughter more than words can express but I never expected how quickly my heart could expand to be so full of love for both these little boys. I know you love each kid that comes along but having two more at once was just an overwhelming fullness. It is amazing. They are amazing.
They make me a better person.
Kids require selflessness. In some ways, especially as newborns, twins require an extra measure of sacrifice (mostly sleep). These little guys also force me to be more engaged and organized than I was with my first. This is also likely true with adding just one extra kid. My daughter was a relatively easy addition to our lives, although we didn’t necessarily think that at the time, but these guys took it to a new level. The challenge has required much and I know I have grown in many ways from the “fire” of multiples.
I meet new people all the time.
I once read something regarding twins that said “Everyone has a twin story and none of them are interesting.” That made me laugh, but it’s a terrible way to think about the fact that dozens of people will stop you wherever you go to talk about your precious kids. They give you opportunities to meet people you never thought you would and you will have countless opportunities to tell your story. It’s a unique dynamic and I have learned to love it. Well, most days. Ha!
I get to watch an incredible and special bond grow.
Twins are amazing. The bond they develop in utero and as they grow up is simply incredible. I thoroughly enjoyed watching my boys interact with each other so young. The love they share is precious and unique and I’m blessed to be their mom.
I get to dress them up in matching outfits.
Let’s face it, as ridiculous as it might seem, it is so much fun to dress them up in coordinating outfits. It’s just darn adorable.
For moms out there who have multiples or are expecting some soon, just know that God prepares and equips us for what He has called us to and He is faithful. You have an incredible blessing.
What are you most looking forward to being a M.O.M?
What have you most enjoyed during your first year of having multiples?
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When I read this article, I was a new stay at home mom and I felt alone.
