My husband is a man.
And as such, he does manly things.
He likes sports and to grill out, and he enjoys wrestling, throwing, swinging, and other very physical activities with my son. He is a provider and he is a leader, albeit sometimes a quiet one.
My husband has always been happy to do things around the house–but here is where things get a little hairy.
You see, he doesn’t do household things like a woman. He does them–well, the way that a man would.
I realize this may come as a shock. My husband does not load the dishwasher like I do. He does not fold and put away the laundry like I do. He doesn’t even clean the bathroom like I do.
Is there a “right” way to chop an onion?
Well, even if it’s not the way I would cut it, it will still flavor the soup and still be able to be chewed once we eat it.
Is there a “right” way to load the dishwasher?
Well, perhaps if you didn’t put soap in it, but otherwise, the dishes will still get clean. And isn’t that the point of a dishwasher?
Is there a “right” way to fold the laundry?
Well, as long as all of us get clean underwear and towels, wasn’t that the point?
It’s easy to get into the slump of “he didn’t do it my way.” But–maybe I didn’t do it his way. And you know what? He probably didn’t complain about it. He just accepted it because it’s who I am.
Sometimes, I think we lose sight of the big picture.
Is it more important to get help around the house? To share the burden of budgeting and finances? To let someone else take a turn watching the baby?
Because I guarantee you–it won’t be done exactly how YOU would have done it. And yet, if we let go of that control, of that “need” to have things done a certain way, we may find that our lives are richly blessed. We may find it easier, in fact, to follow 1 Thessalonians 5:18:
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Instead of, “Why did he load the dishes this way!” perhaps we can say, “Thank you, Lord, for giving me a husband who helps clean up supper!”
Instead of, “Why can’t he find a matching set of clothes to put on the baby!” perhaps we can say, “Thank you, Lord, for granting me time to rest while my husband made sure the baby is warm, clean, and dry.”
Instead of complaining, perhaps we can learn the not-so-easy-as-it-sounds task of saying “Thank you.” To God. To our families. To anyone around us.
And that may make all the difference.