“For in grief nothing ‘stays put.’ One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?
But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?
How often–will it be for always?–how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, ‘I never realized my loss till this moment’? The same leg is cut off time after time.”
C.S. Lewis
The Barren Land of Grief
The presence of grief is felt thick and its roots are deep in the hidden places of our soul. It is a spiraling entity that immobilizes us and causes us to ache for what once was…or for that which never had been. Grief spirals us into a land barren and unknown.
Where it is lodged secretly, no one knows of its depths. Not even the most intimate of relationships are aware of its overwhelming presence. We find comfort in the pain. We draw strength from the agony, but our light flickers dim as the darkness overtakes every nook and cranny of our grieving being. The comfort and strength gained wanes and becomes our undoing. The grief paralyzes.
“It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, And the light dwells with Him.”
Daniel 2:22
We hold tight to our comfortable uncomfortable, as grief has become part of our essence. But He who is light brings out the darkness. Nothing is hidden from His embodiment of knowledge. He sees our grief buried–our secret made known. He sees the darkness that has crept in, the grief that has taken hold. He knows what is in the darkness…and He offers us light.
For the grief-burdened soul, there is hope in the Gospel message.
When brokenness entered that once-perfect garden, it also birthed grief into a once joyful and peaceful place. We often speak of our rescue from sin, of a Savior who died bearing the weight of our iniquities. But do we not also share that the day sin and shame were hurled onto the beaten body of Perfection hanging on a cross, so also was the enormous weight of all that is broken dumped heavily and fully onto the Sacrificial Lamb. Grief, in its complete form, crushed He who was Hope and Joy.
For what?
For the sake of mercy…for the sake of hope and joy complete.
Finding Comfort in Jesus
In knowing that Christ carried our grief fully on the cross, we can now find comfort as He walks through waters dark with us. Knowing that He defeated grief through His death and resurrection, we can now find hope in a rescue from its prison. When our vulnerable bodies can fall onto bruised knee and stretch out shaky hands in surrender, He will meet us in our state of fragility and hold us close. He is the balm that heals our broken heart. His love saturates deep as it fills complete.
“When I survey the occurrences of my life, and call into account the finger of God, I can perceive nothing but an abyss and mass of mercies.”
Sir Thomas Browne
Is that, then, the hope in grief? Are the feelings of emptiness and the bone-deep aches drawing us into His place of mercy? It is then that we find all we lost is recovered that much more in His redemption. Do we dare hope to feel again, laugh again…do we dare hope to live again? Is grace so strong that it restores the soul tattered and torn by grief’s long reign? In the mass of mercies given, there is such an amazing grace.
A New Perspective
The grace received brings on new perspective. Our grief buried can be His peace resurrected. Letting go is scary and hard. When the pain does not drench into our pores, we feel as if we might have betrayed. But to live is not to forget. Our life for His glory, our sadness for His joy, our emptiness for His fullness–this is when and how He walks in the grief with us. He beckons us close and He breathes life into our soul. We can ache for that which we grieve, because in the aching we can surrender. We surrender our grief to the One who knew the ultimate grief on the cross. So then, we do not abandon grief itself. Instead, we allow it to be made full through His mass of mercies–allow it to draw us deeper into the heart of God.
“The deepest things that I have learned in my own life have come from the deepest suffering. And out of the deepest waters and the hottest fires have come the deepest things that I know about God.”
I am a recovering Army brat who loves to travel and start new adventures. My handsome husband and I met at Oklahoma Christian University and he whisked me away to Kansas. So, I bought some ruby red high heels and made Topeka my home. I have a rough and rowdy Princess 4-year-old girl, amazing twin boys (almost 3) and a newborn baby girl who all make every day an adventure. We are grateful to be part of an amazing church in Topeka who regularly challenges and encourages our whole family. I have been both a full-time working mom and a stay-at-home-mom and/or both at the same time at one point or another. I am constantly seeking God’s wisdom on “balancing it all” and following His plan for my life, not mine.
It’s one of those things we cherish in others, perhaps even require in our most meaningful earthly relationships. The definitions of “faithful” according to Dictionary.com are as follows:
1. strict or thorough in the performance of duty:
a faithful worker.
2.true to one’s word, promises, vows, etc.
3.steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant:
faithful friends.
4.reliable, trusted, or believed.
5.adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate:
a faithful account; a faithful copy.
6.full of faith; believing.
Faithfulness is a foundational component of love, commitment, and trust. That is probably the reason we crave it from our friends, family, and loved ones. I believe we also need it because faithfulness is a key attribute of God and how He relates to us. God is love. God is faithful, and he keeps His promises. He is constant, He is to be trusted, He is thorough, and His word is true.
New Perspective on God’s Faithfulness
As an adult, I have reread the Old Testament with new perspective about how it is really telling us the story of Jesus and God’s plan to save a troubled and corrupted world. When I was young, I always got “trust and obey” out of Old Testament stories. But as I grew up, the Lord showed me that His perfect faithfulness was demonstrated time and again. Layers and layers of faithfulness. (Thanks to the Jesus Storybook Bible, I find it much easier to communicate some of this to my kiddos.)
What is a greater story of faithfulness than God’s commitment to all his promises to the Israelites? The first chapter of Joshua comes to mind. After God told them to finally enter the Promised Land under Joshua’s leadership, he tells them this:
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you?Be strong and courageous.Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for theLordyour God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:8-9 ESV)
Not Always Obvious
I could go on and talk about all the proof in the New and Old Testaments of God’s unending faithfulness, including the death and resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ, but it is more difficult to understand faithfulness in your own day-to-day life. God’s faithfulness is sometimes easiest seen in hindsight. It’s not something that always seems obvious when we are in the midst of something hard or terrible, or even joyous. But I assure you, He is Faithful. All. The. Time. If we know Him, and we know His Word, we know He is with us wherever we go.
Faithfulness in Big and Small Ways
In my own life, this is sometimes how the Lord urges me to trust and obey in the hard things. He reminds me how He has been faithful in so many “small” and “big” ways. One “small” way in which God has been faithful in my life is that He consistently provides someone to meet my needs on days I just feel weary. Whether it be a friend in a lonely place, ladies from church to help bring meals or offer extra helping hands when you have a newborn (or two), or the person at the grocery store who lets you go ahead of them because your kids are losing their minds, and even a husband who brings dinner home after a long day.
These are “small” examples, but nonetheless, it is powerful to know that He cares about the small things in my life as much as the big things. It helps me change my perspective. When I look back on the Lord’s faithfulness in my life, especially in tragedy or heartache, it overwhelms me. But his faithfulness exists even in times of joy. I can do nothing else but know the same will be true in the future.
God is Faithful because He Loves You
Finding His faithfulness in the “small” things each day makes it so much easier to find comfort when everything, or even just one thing, seems to be falling apart. God is Faithful, All the Time. He is faithful because He loves us; He loves us more than anyone in this world is capable of loving us. Meditate on that for a while. God loves you. He has a plan for our lives and He is faithful through it all. It may not always look the way we expect. It may take time and reflection, perhaps even years down the road, or perhaps we will never know the full extent of His faithfulness in our lives.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose.”
Please note that this verse doesn’t say all things are good in this life, but says that HE works things together for THE good OF those called according to HIS purpose.
He is sovereign; He is great. But He is love, and He is faithful to those who serve Him. Do you know what is even better? He is faithful even when we fail.
I implore you to seek God in all things, but especially during times of trial. Trust in Him who is faithful. Even if we don’t understand His ways in the present, we can be assured that He loves us more than we can imagine.
Wife, mom, daughter, teacher, blogger, crafter, organizer - but most and best of all, I am a Christian. I am passionate about my family and my God. I am married to my best friend and am blessed with a one year old son who keeps me busy all the time staying at home with him. And I am glad to be in the service of our incredible and awesome God.
As a wife, daughter, granddaughter, niece, and cousin of preachers, I have been blessed in many respects with a rich spiritual legacy. It is really a blessing to have grown up and watched men and women in my blood family as well as my blood-bought family serve God with fervor, throughout trials, and despite unbelievable odds.
But I have a very special place in my heart for those “first generation” converts–the ones who came to Christ later in life, perhaps not knowing God from childhood. Not being blessed to be raised in a Christian home. They seem to have a special spark, and I love to see it.
Later converts tend to have a better understanding of how close to the precipice of death we all stand.
Having come to Christ at a later (and perhaps more drastic point) in their lives, they have a higher sense of urgency to reach the lost. Realizing how close they came to being eternally lost, they understand and see the world around them with compassionate eyes for lost souls.
They have a special empathy for those in the “muck” of the world.
Let’s be real here. Sin makes life messy, whether in the Christian’s life or the unbeliever’s life. Sin makes things complicated, awkward, hard, tearful, and exhausting. The difference? In the Christian’s life, we have the hope of better things. The later convert really understands the unbeliever’s struggle–and the fact that they do so without the hope of heaven afterward.
They have truly counted the cost.
Later converts came from a life centered around self and sin and move to a life submerged in the blood of Christ. They “gave up” their free time on Sundays and Wednesday nights. They “gave up” their previous pastimes for service and Christian fellowship. And they also realize what a precious gift we have received in return.
They spark joy, energy, and life into the church.
Having been convicted by the Spirit to conversion, they have an incredible, burning zeal, and it is contagious. That joy spills into all parts of their lives–at work, among non-Christian family, in the community. They are a breath of fresh air and a stirring up among us.
Later converts have an incredible sense of loyalty and gratitude to their church family.
When you are converted later in life (especially as an adult), you are often left without your blood family. But in return you gain a precious gift–a blood-bought family stretching across countries, borders, and cultures. You are granted the gift of people who, like you, have an understanding of their own great debt to the One who paid it all.
I am so grateful to those “late” converted Christians in my life. You inspire me, you push me, and you humble me. I am often drawn into complacency or weariness, and you urge me to realize again the great gift God has given us, simply by your lives, steeped in the service and grace and love of God. I am thankful you are a part of my “real” blood-bought family.
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