As a stay-at-home mom, I’m guilty of occasionally overindulging in social media. I find myself looking up something on my phone and constantly getting sidetracked by what someone posted or a suggested article or those crazy little Buzzfeed things full of funny GIFs.
I’m not here to address my personal battle with time management, but I’m willing to bet that I’m not the only one who gets sucked into their social media pages a little more often than they’d like to admit.
The world of social media is such a bizarre thing. It seems to have become something we can’t manage to live without. Connecting with others who were once unreachable has become the norm. I won’t date myself by rambling on about life before social media; however, there are some peculiarities that are so striking to me that I cannot seem to overlook them.
The one I’d like to touch on today is respect.
I’m not going to rant about youngsters and their lack of respect or teenagers spouting off. No, I’d like to talk about respecting our husbands on social media.
You may feel your defenses going up at this point, but please don’t allow them to. I’m not pointing my finger at any one person, but rather I’d like to provide a gentle reminder to us all of the love and respect we should be giving to the head of our households, even on the internet.
Our society has taken a turn for the worse on the subject of censoring. Having an online profile gives us a sense of freedom and anonymity that we wouldn’t otherwise entertain. We are able to leave a comment on personal photos, stories and thoughts of others, and if we aren’t careful, the devil can find a foothold here.
Recently, there was a blog post circulating among my girlfriends on Facebook.
It dealt with the dissolution of a marriage and was written by the man in letter form to his now ex-wife. He was pouring out his heart about how he had misunderstood the intention behind her words when she tried to tell him how she was feeling. He was berating himself for not recognizing that her small requests were really a big gesture, and if only he had taken the time to recognize what that small thing represented, they would probably still be together. How my heart hurts for this couple!
Scrolling down through the comments I read and identified with many of the feelings expressed. I found myself reading criticisms against the wife for leaving over such a small thing. There were praises for the husband’s moment of clarity, albeit too late.
I was dismayed to see that when I went to the original post there were hundreds of women tagging their significant others in this story.
Pause here and let me say that I am in no way saying that I’ve never called my husband out for something publicly that should have been kept private. I am constantly putting my foot in my mouth.
That being said,
I feel like this was God’s way of shedding a light on an area that I have struggled with in the past, and allowing me to pursue it in this entry so that I can be more aware of it in the future.
Ladies, we MUST respect our husbands, even on social media.
Especially on social media. Once it’s out there, there is no taking it back. We have to consider how our words, or the words of others that we are identifying with, affect our loved ones.
The simple act of women tagging their husbands in this article caused me to speculate on what kind of relationship they had. What were their struggles? What does the husband do or not do correctly? Is their relationship struggling?
But aside from the wonderings on my part, imagine a man hard at work, sitting down to check his news feed over lunch and hoping to connect with his wife during the day, only to find that she has tagged him in a story that identifies him publicly as someone who doesn’t listen, or isn’t doing his part, or is struggling to understand the hidden meanings behind his wife’s frustrations. If it were me I would be embarrassed, humiliated, crushed, that something so private was shared in such a public way.
Matthew 7:12 is the Golden Rule that has been recited a thousand times,
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you,
for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
I’m willing to bet none of us would feel very good about being called out publicly over a private issue with our spouse. It may seem harmless to share something online, but I encourage us all to place ourselves in the shoes of the person on the receiving end before hitting the button.
Romans 12:10 reminds us to
“Be devoted to one another in love.
Honor one another about yourselves.”
This one is a challenge to us because our human nature is selfish.
We tend to become focused on our own needs and desires and have trouble focusing on others. However, the Bible gives us this instruction that immediately wipes away those selfish desires. If we are truly devoted to our husbands in love, and we are honoring him above ourselves, we should be able to offer kindness and respect to him with little effort.
And of course it wouldn’t be a proper post on respecting your husband without:
1 Peter 3:1-4
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Christian women have long debated the depth of respect and submission that we are required to give our husbands per the words of Peter. I feel that an actual measure of respect is not necessary. If we are acting in a way that preserves a gentle and quiet spirit, our behaviors will reflect that. Let us be cautious of Satan’s sneakiness. Words which were written by someone else and then publicly forwarded to a spouse can be an open wound that was never intended to be.
Instead let us take to heart the words of 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 that says,
“Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.”