Dear God, Are You Sure You Know What You’re Doing?

Dear God, Are You Sure You Know What You’re Doing?

Hello. I grew up traveling the world as a military brat. I ultimately felt God's pull to Oklahoma Christian University where I met my husband. We now have 3 beautiful children and have settled in Mustang, Oklahoma.I am a homeschooling mom and with 3 kiddos it is a full time job! I am daily encouraged by God's great patience and grace in my life. In my free time I enjoy reading and crafting.

Dear God,

Lately I’ve been going through some challenges.  You know, growing older, raising children, constantly questioning my decisions, etc.  I understand that trials will be part of this life and that through those trials You teach us valuable lessons.  But sometimes I have small doubts about Your timing.  Sometimes, in my humble human brain I can’t piece together the exact reasoning You have about some of the things that happen in my life.

You’ve definitely proven to me over and over again that I am not in control of this life.  

I always thought that I would have a career that fulfilled me, and You brought me together with a man with very different ideas.  I always thought I’d stay home with my kids until they went to school and then I’d find a job.  Then You brought me into homeschooling.  I had decided that three children were plenty, and now You’ve gifted me a fourth.  It is quite obvious that You are in control.Dear God,

As I’ve grown older and grown in the word, I’ve slowly but surely been able to release my grasp on control; not for Your good but for my own.  As I’ve let go, I’ve gained such a feeling of contentment.  As I’ve let go, I’ve gained a freedom that I’ve never known before.  As I’ve let go, I’ve made time for other things that actually are my responsibility.

However, Lord, You still find ways to remind me to trust You.  

You find ways to send me messages like, “Your day will go smoother if you’d start it with Me,” or “Take care of your children, your husband, AND yourself.”  The latter seems like a long hard road that we’re now traveling down.  Years of neglecting myself has finally caught up with me and I have been physically forced to slow down.

However, Your goodness and love never fails me.  

You placed people in my life to support me during this time:  friends to bring meals and clean my kitchen, grandparents to watch the kids, and an amazingly compassionate husband to understand.  And through the rest, You revealed to me just how much I’d been neglecting myself.

I can’t help but wonder though, if You’re really sure You know what You’re doing?

I mean, through the pain and discussion of back surgery You brought into my womb a beautiful new life.  How wonderful!  But why now?  Why, when I was on a dangerous medication?  Why, when my baby was just barely 10 months old?  Why, when our house is already nearly stretched to its limit?

Please don’t misunderstand.  

I am incredibly grateful for this beautiful blessing.  I’ve seen the pain of a barren womb and I thank You for this miracle inside of me.  But Lord, was this really the best time?  Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

Dear God,

Obviously, I haven’t given up as much control as I thought.  

If I had, I wouldn’t be questioning Your perfect timing.  I remember in those first days when I was in such pain that there was no sleep, no rest for my mind, body, or soul.  In those days I remember asking You fervently to reveal the lesson that You had for me in this trial.  As the pain lessened and I found my new normal, that plea slowly faded away.

I know that You aren’t done with me yet, and for that I’m grateful.

Perhaps You intend to teach me patience.  Perhaps it’s more about putting my faith in You and not in the hands of any surgeon.  Perhaps it’s about bringing glory to You in my time of weakness.  I have yet to discover Your perfect plan through all of this Lord, but I know that I can trust in You.  Through my struggles and my failures, You’ve always been by my side.  Please forgive me for questioning Your perfect plan and open my eyes to the many lessons I have yet to learn.  Thank you for Your goodness and Your love.

Your humbled doubter



I Got My Laugh Back!

I Got My Laugh Back!

I am an Oklahoman by birth, a Texan by current living situation, but claim the world as my playground.I love to travel and hope to someday soon take our family on adventures to far off lands, where we can share God with others and experience all the wonders He has created.

I am a mother of 5 crazy, homeschooling children ages 10 & under, wife to an amazing man, and daughter of the King of the Universe!I enjoy reading, making my kids laugh, cooking, all things natural, learning to play guitar and dusting off my piano skills.One day I hope to run again, but until then I’m learning patience.
Latest posts by Kristi F (see all)

I have a very unique laugh.  I claim it and am proud of it.  It’s loud and distinct. In a crowd, I can be found within minutes.  Growing up, I would have people wait for me in the hallways of the movie theater after the movie was over because they heard me laughing during the movie.

It’s always been my trademark.  My first reaction to everything was laughter. Whether I was hurting, sad, angry, or truly joyful, I laughed.


My junior year in high school, we had a bit of a morbid writing assignment, so of course, I took it on wholeheartedly.  We were asked to write our epitaph and without even batting an eyelash, I knew what mine would be.  And still to this day, it is what I have determined will be on my headstone.

She laughed at death

because God was in her heart

and she was in His hands.

Laughter…it’s always been coursing through my veins until one day it wasn’t.

I am not sure what happened, or the exact time my laughter faded, but it did.  Maybe it was a mix of sleepless nights and changes in life and my abrupt understanding of how evil people can be…I really can’t remember.  I just remember one day looking at my friend and saying, “I don’t laugh like I used to.”

This scared me.  I wanted my old carefree, joyful self back, but I couldn’t figure out how to get there.  I prayed, studied God’s precious word, and wrapped myself in his faithfulness and goodness.  In the end, I realized fear–something I never knew I possessed–was squelching my joy and laughter.

Over the years, the fears I have held onto have slowly melted away.  By the grace of God’s patience, he let me wrangle through the core issues In the process, I learned to truly trust Him no matter what the day brings. Only then did my laughter start to return.

Not only do I not hold onto those fears anymore, but I am also no longer ensnared by the stress that accompanied those fears.

The devil is soooooo sneaky.  He averted my attention and my joy from my God, the God who created the world and everything in it and the God who is faithful to everything He created.  (Psalm 145)

Oh, you devil, how did I let you do that?  Slowly….soooo tricky.  So slowly you turned my head and my heart and before I realized it, my eyes were not always on the Lord. but focused on my fear and how to avoid it.  Tricky, tricky, tricky.

Well, dear Satan, I have since learned this wonderful truth and have tucked it into my heart so that my joy can no longer be squelched. My joy can no longer be deterred.  I will continue to laugh at death and all your lies, because I do have God in my heart and He does hold me in His hands.  It is a promise he has made. I trust his promises and will no longer trust your lies.

I keep my eyes ALWAYS on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken!   Psalm 16:8


Today, after helping with an event, a lady walked up to me and said, “I love your laugh.  It’s sincere and unique.”  (She might have used slightly different words but the same sentiment was there.)  When I heard her say that, I felt the seal of joy on my heart and honestly got a little emotional on the inside.  Never again will I allow Satan to steal my joy.

I’ve got my laugh back!  The laugh that signifies a complete trust in God no matter what the day brings.   And just a little reminder for you, Satan, next time you try to steal my joy, you will not win because Christ has already defeated you!

Giggles & Laughs

Laughing and being silly with my kids is such a blessing!

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Book Review: ONWARD by Dr. Russell Moore

Book Review: ONWARD by Dr. Russell Moore

I am a recovering Army brat who loves to travel and start new adventures. My handsome husband and I met at Oklahoma Christian University and he whisked me away to Kansas. So, I bought some ruby red high heels and made Topeka my home. I have a rough and rowdy Princess 4-year-old girl, amazing twin boys (almost 3) and a newborn baby girl who all make every day an adventure. We are grateful to be part of an amazing church in Topeka who regularly challenges and encourages our whole family. I have been both a full-time working mom and a stay-at-home-mom and/or both at the same time at one point or another. I am constantly seeking God’s wisdom on “balancing it all” and following His plan for my life, not mine.
Latest posts by Elizabeth P (see all)

Disclaimer:  We did receive a copy of this book to review but all opinions are 100% are own.

It happens every election cycle. The nation seems to be in a desperate place and voters are full of fear at what might come.

Fear. It permeates our world, it seems to inform our desperate actions and somehow it has begun to permeate our faith.

In a time when it seems like a default for us to fear what is going on in our county, Onward by Dr. Russell Moore was a great reminder of our real purpose for our time here: to further the kingdom of God.

Don’t get me wrong, elections ARE important, they are extremely significant. They do effect our daily lives and they do play a part in setting the trajectory of our nation and society. To be completely candid, I work in politics and I genuinely feel a call on my life in this area.  At the same time, God has shown me repeatedly that at the end of it all, he knows what is written on the scrolls and He alone can open them as Revelation 5 assures.

It is refreshing to read a book describing how in reality, we ARE losing the culture battle between our secular society and the values of our faith. Christians ARE becoming the radical ones who hold strongly to the love of Christ and His sacrifice.  Living our lives for God in an uncompromising fashion…is well, out of fashion.

Moore postures that the loss of the Midwestern “Bible belt” or “Moral Majority” might actually be a positive catalyst for a fervent movement for Christ to and the church to actually increase.   It is easy to grieve this and not understand why our country seems to be rejecting what is true in such a ferocious way, but it really is all about our perspective.

We must have an eternal perspective in all things and be focused on the simple truth that Jesus Christ is Lord and He died for our sins.  Dr. Moore describes the false gospels and half-truths Western Christianity has embraced, and affirms that we shouldn’t cling to those partial, or twisted versions of Christ and Scripture in order to maintain our comfort level with the status quo in our culture.

In fact, as believers, our hope is greater than fear of what our culture thinks Scripture “should” say or fear of our culture removing truth from their lives.  Our culture, government and society does not actually have that power over us. We have power to influence our culture and engage it by speaking the truth about the Gospel of Christ without isolating ourselves AND without watering down God’s word.

In fact, as believers, our hope is greater than fear of what our culture thinks Scripture “should” say or fear of our culture removing truth from their lives. (1)

Electoral politics seems like a highlighted opportunity to ensure “we are headed in the right direction”. While I strongly believe that Christian’s should be informed about our current events and advocating for Truth, and I do work to elect people who love God and share my values, our hope does not rest in them. Our hope rests in God, in His plan, and His truth in our lives.

One of my favorite hymns begins, ” My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and Righteousness” and Psalm 62:5-12 (ESV) says:

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him.
 He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us.

For anyone who is feeling fearful about the elections this November, or even about the loss of our culture or the unstable state of our world, I encourage you to read this book.  We can be relevant and speak truth in our world with confidence no matter what happens. Let us continue to work and advocate for what we believe and let us not panic, surrender or live in anger, let us live and act like Jesus is alive and He has rescued us from all of it in the end.

Thank you, Dr. Moore for reminding us all to have an eternal perspective on our world, sharing our faith and living for Christ.

Burying My Head in the Sand

Burying My Head in the Sand

Hello. I grew up traveling the world as a military brat. I ultimately felt God's pull to Oklahoma Christian University where I met my husband. We now have 3 beautiful children and have settled in Mustang, Oklahoma.I am a homeschooling mom and with 3 kiddos it is a full time job! I am daily encouraged by God's great patience and grace in my life. In my free time I enjoy reading and crafting.

Did you know that ostriches do not bury their head in the sand when they’re afraid?  I discovered this fact while I was searching the inter-webs for this post.  So if you also have believed the age-old lie that ostriches bury their heads in the sand, I’m sorry to say that you were wrong, and now you know better.  And if you haven’t already had someone tell you “when you know better, you do better” then I must say congratulations!

I’ve seen someone type this phrase out online more times than I can count, and I have to say it rubs me the wrong way.  First of all, it assumes that we all will have the same feelings or beliefs based on a set of information.

Secondly it assumes that the information presented is infallible.  My friends, the only thing I’ve ever read that is 100% bulletproof, stands up against all opposition, and holds true in every scenario is the true word of God.  But I digress.  I didn’t sit down at my computer today to rant and rave about the catchphrase of the day.  No, I sit here today to talk about one of my own shortcomings.

I (unlike an ostrich) find myself burying my head in the sand frequently these days.  To say that I’ve become a proverbial basket case since I’ve had children would be a severe understatement.  Our world today seems to be an ever-changing cocktail of worrisome information.  We have access to more information than any generation before.  It’s wonderful, right?!  Uh, I beg to differ.  Hopping on social media for a quick update on my friends and family unleashes Pandora’s box.

Oh, I’m not talking about the latest murder, carjacking, or robbery, although these things are certainly worrisome.  No, I’m talking about things that burrow deep down into my heart and start my descent towards the sand.  I may wake up with my head held high, but you can bet that by the end of the day my brain is buried away where it doesn’t have to contemplate the latest problems of my world.

Besides the endless mommy wars (which are a total drag–aren’t we past this?) I find myself facing a barrage of information or opinions which start me questioning my choices and the safety of my children.  I mean, it seems like every day there’s a new car seat recommendation that I can’t keep up with.  Then there’s the guilt over the fact that my grocery shopping is either done at a sprint or with four needy humans in tow that results in a lack of anything organic.  Move on to the scare over vaccinations and I’m already starting to burrow.  The other day a simple google search about the little cuties oranges turned up a blog discussion about fruit dyes.  They’re dying our fruit?!  I mean, can’t a momma catch a break???

Human trafficking.
Dirty politicians.
Police being murdered.
Late-term abortions.
ANY abortions!

I just can’t.  I just can’t keep reading and thinking and worrying.

  • What happens if a vaccine hurts my child?
  • What happens if my children eat fruit that has been dyed?
  • What happens if we don’t do extended rear-facing and we have an accident?  Could I ever forgive myself?  I mean, I had read the information right?
  • I know better, so shouldn’t I do better?


At this moment I have to call up from my soul the lyrics of one of my very favorite songs.

Breathe, just breatheCome and rest at my feetAnd be, just beChaos calls but all you really needIs to just breathe.

Ah, Jonny Diaz!  Bless you for being the hands and feet of Christ to me in this situation.

How in the world do I find myself in this place over and over again?  I mean, I’m pretty sure if you do a search of my blog posts on here you’ll find that I reach this place pretty frequently.  How fortunate for me that we serve a God full of grace, mercy, and forgiveness!  How foolish I must look to be sticking my head in the sand day in and day out.  Has the Lord not made it clear to me who has control of my life?

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes?  See how the flowers of the field grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothes you-you of little faith?  So do not worry saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:26-34


Do you ever get overwhelmed by the worries of this world?

What things make you want to bury your head in the sand?

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