As you may know, October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month. Filled with bittersweet memories, it’s a time to openly honor those whose lives have made a big impact even though their time with us was so tragically short. It’s a time to comfort the grieving parents who have endured this loss and remember the children who are no longer with us physically but are always in our hearts and with us spiritually. Remembering with grieving parents on other occasions is comforting as well.
More than likely, hearing the words “infant loss” sparked the name of a child, mother, and/or father in your mind. Someone you know, maybe even intimately, has endured the pain of losing a child. I’ve heard it described as a lonely suffering. Since some of the children went to heaven before birth, there is no funeral. There is no public gathering of mourning and comforting each other.
Many of my friends and family members have lost children. It’s impossible to talk with them and not remember their precious child(ren). I’ve been pondering the best way to honor their children’s memories, and then two ideas came together.
This week, as I listened to two different women share their stories of miscarriage and loss, one of them shared how she honored her child. She gathered with other families who have walked this road, and lit candles in their honor.
During the month of October, many gatherings are held where women can assemble with others who have experienced this same loss. Thinking that you are the only one that has ever suffered this loss is a cruelty Satan casts on our hearts. But when families come together in their suffering, many are comforted. This is so wonderful, but there is something else we can do for these families as well.
The Greatest Gift to Give a Grieving Friend
As I envisioned the lit candles, one for each child, a thought that H. Norman Wright shared came to mind. The idea he conveyed was this:
One of the greatest gifts we can give someone who has lost a loved one is to remember that loved one with them. Remember them on their birthdays. Remember them on the anniversary of their death. Speak of their lost loved ones. Yes, there might be sadness but the joy of knowing they are remembered is treasured.
Each of these precious children, no matter how short their life, made a huge impact on this world. They are loved. They are treasured and they have left their angel print behind. As the precious gift from God that they are, they should be honored. Their light still shines here on earth as well as in heaven. When we take the time to talk about each child and remember their impact, we fan the flame of light.
Norman Wright’s idea is something to keep in mind. But in honor of those who have lost children, let’s keep their children’s memory alive in our hearts as well. I’ve created a calendar specifically to remember these children’s heavenly birth dates, so that I can send a love note on their anniversary and cover them in prayer. I’d like to share this with you.
No Matter How Short, Their Life Made a Difference.
Have you lost a child? If so, leave your child’s name along with his/her heavenly birthday. We will remember that child as well as pray for your family.
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I am a mother of 5 crazy, homeschooling children ages 10 & under, wife to an amazing man, and daughter of the King of the Universe!I enjoy reading, making my kids laugh, cooking, all things natural, learning to play guitar and dusting off my piano skills.One day I hope to run again, but until then I’m learning patience.
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This is such a beautiful way to honor the lives of the lost little ones. I’m sure remembering and praying for these babies is a comfort to the parents too.
I really commiserate with those who have lost children. A good friend of mine had a miscarriage and the grief was terrible. She went on to have others. But other children are their own gifts, never a replacement for the one that was lost.
Kristi, you have such a beautiful heart. I lost a baby last November at 13 weeks and it was so hard. I am now due to have a baby on the exact day that I was told the baby had no heartbeat, November 7th. I truly believe this baby is a gift from God.
This is such a hard thing. I have so many friends who have experienced these losses and they love to have their angel babies remembered.