Do You Have Regrets?
Have you ever found you have regrets that seem to continually haunt you?  In my experience these regrets can be anything from something seemingly small all the way up to bigger things.  Along with that, I’ve found it’s harder for me to find the strength to ask for forgiveness for some of these regrets than others.  I’m not talking about asking the Lord for forgiveness; that’s something I’ve practiced enough times that I’ve got it down pretty well.  I’m talking about asking another person for forgiveness.
Brandon Heath’s song “I’m Not Who I Was” speaks to me every single time I hear it.  This song so perfectly illustrates a letter that I’ve written over and over in my mind but never on paper.  Why is it that I cannot seem to write this letter and send it to the people from whom I need to ask forgiveness?  The fears that creep in are Satan’s stronghold in this situation.
“What if they don’t forgive me?”Â
“What if they don’t care or don’t even remember?”
“What if they never respond? Will I ever find closure?”
I’m Not Who I Was!
How I’ve longed to reach these people and say, “I’m not who I was!” Why is it so important to me to reach out to these people? Why should their opinion of who I was, or who I am now, matter?  Matthew 5:23-24 says:
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has  something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (NIV)
If I think that my fellow brother or sister in Christ harbors something against me because IÂ have wronged them in some way, how can I come to the altar with a clean heart? Â I must go to them and ask for forgiveness.
Create in Me…
Psalm 51:10 says, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (NIV)
I remember singing that song as a child, “Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. Â And cast me not away from Your presence, oh Lord, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Â Restore unto me, the joy of Thy salvation, and renew a right spirit within me.”
Dealing with Regret by Asking Forgiveness
Knowing these words from the Lord, how can I continue on without asking forgiveness?  It would not be right for me to live as though I’ve done no wrong, when I know in my heart that forgiveness needs to be sought.  I will have to prayerfully consider my words as I sit down to write this long overdue letter.  I’m sure all the familiar anxiety, regret, and bitterness of the situation will creep in as I undertake this task to heal a long-festering wound; even so, I will dwell on the Psalms as I make things right.
Has the Lord placed someone on your heart from whom you need to seek forgiveness? Â
Have you ever sought forgiveness from someone who was placed on your heart? Â What was the outcome?
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I’ve been there! In college I had a falling out with my best friend. A few years later I sought her forgiveness and we reconcilled and eventually got very close again. ALL conflict is a struggle, but our conflict with our christian sisters is really bad! We’ve got to stay strong together in Christ! Thank you for your beautiful reminder that it’s never to late to seek forgiveness!
Kristin I’m not sure how I didn’t see this before but wow what a testimony of forgiveness! It brings so much hope to see others reconciled despite past conflict!
I have so been there too! It’s hard to ask for forgiveness for fear of rejection, but we have to live like Christ. Good advice!
Thanks for chiming in! It always helps me to know that others have dealt with this issue too!
Yes thats the beauty of being a new creation in Christ we are made new!!! I like your top pic btw great minds think alike!
Thank the good Lord that he loves us enough to make us new!
Amen, we are new creations in Christ! There are times every now and again I have looked back and thought “if only”…but I realize it’s nothing I can change and I apply that lesson to the next step of my life. I think that is the best we can do! Thank you for sharing this. I love the transparency
This is what our sermon was about this week. We talked about it in the context of the story of Joseph and his brothers–how their regret over what they had done to him haunted them so much their first guess was that they were being punished for their sinful act of mistreating him. If we are dealing with regret, it is a sign God is still using that area to work in us.
Tara, I’ve never really thought about it in regards to Joseph’s brothers. I love how even after hearing bible stories all my life, others can bring in a fresh perspective! Thank you for sharing that! I have to agree that God definitely uses those lingering feelings to work in us!
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
It’s so important to ask for forgiveness from those we have wronged! I can’t say I’ve done that with every single person I’ve wronged in my lifetime but I do realize that’s a key factor in being able to move on with your life. Great post on forgiveness.
I don’t think any of us could make that claim! You are so right that it is a key part of moving on through life. Thanks Amanda!
I am so not who I was my life has changed so much I have changed so much. There are regrets and there are needs for forgiveness in some areas of life and they will happen. You’re right there are some things I need to do and explore.
It’s never easy for me to be introspective De! I think the first step is just realizing that we need to look inside ourselves! Thanks so much for coming by the blog!
Yes, this is right on. So often I hear about the importance of offering forgiveness, and it’s absolutely essential. However, we don’t often talk about how and when to go and seek forgiveness for ourselves. “Will you forgive me?” is a phrase I’ve only learned in the past several years! We need to seek to make things right whenever and wherever possible.
Oh yes Megan, and even as a grown woman how hard is it for me to use those words! I think humility is something that God is constantly trying to teach me 🙂
I needed to read this today! Thanks so much for sharing!
I hope it blesses you Amanda. It’s so hard for me to look back on my past and know that all the people behind me only know me for who I was. I have to continually pray that God eases the burden of that thought and brings me peace and allows me to forgive myself. I’ll pray that prayer for you as well, whatever your situation may be!