Several years ago, I decided to pick a “word” for the year.
At the time, life seemed a little bit on the chaotic side. Who am I kidding – that’s all the time! I had a 9-month-old waking up several times every night and a 4 year old son who was testing all kinds of boundaries, and I was still trying to figure out this normal in our growing family. Finding a way to make all the demands fit together was a bit more than I could handle. I’m sure none of you can relate to a chaotic life, right? Right when you feel like you get a grasp on anything, it begins to change and slip through your hands again.
Well, when all of the crazy seemed to be enveloping me, I decided to pray about a WORD for my year. Now ya’ll, this kind of prayer can be scary. You start to realize that the Lord is about to speak to you. Yikes! You better hold on!
After a couple days of thinking and praying, there was one word that seemed to float to the top of all of my thoughts… TRUST. Yep, the big scary TRUST word. Now, the Lord knows this about me but I will let you all in on a little secret about myself….I have a hard time with trust. Not trust issues that stem from people hurting me but more of a controlling kind of trust. Like I can do it better kind of trust. I know the right way to do something kind of trust. Ew, just typing that out makes me feel ridiculous. (Thank you, Lord, so much for my amazing, patient husband. See ya’ll, the Lord knows what we need!)
So there it was, my word for the year – TRUST. I kept thinking, I need to put on my big girl panties and buckle up!
Now when I consider how trust fits in with the rest of my life, I see it as the result of a couple other things that are also hard:
Trust is an acceptance of things that the Lord sends my way, whether I like it or not. And in my mind this has everything to do with faith.
Faith is trusting that the Lord has my back and is taking care of me. The Lord knows what I need before I ask or even when I don’t ask. How great is that? SO GREAT!! (also a little unnerving for me) and when I can really begin to grasp the link of trust and faith, it brings me a great deal of peace.
Peace can often feel like a deep heavy sigh. Whew! But let me tell you, the fear and anxiety leading up to that peace is really hard to fight through. I actually have this tattooed on my wrist. It reminds me that remembering to be at peace with the Lord’s plan and trusting in the faith that I believe – even when that seems most impossible – is completely necessary. It’s worth the internal battle!
In this verse that I illustrated, I am so drawn to the word “understanding.” I am often reminded in life that trusting the Lord, despite not understanding, is faith. Belief in that faith that the Lord has got me, offers a huge dose of peace. WHEW! Often times things happen that are not a part of my plan, but I can rest assured that they happen according to His plan!
What word has God been helping you to better understand?