Have you ever labeled yourself in such a way as to isolate your feelings? I did that when I labeled myself a “Fly By Friend,” but I have decided to call myself that no longer.
What is a “Fly By Friend”?
I dubbed myself this after realizing I had a tendency to gravitate to those who seemed to really need a friend or felt left out in some form or fashion and then would fly off as soon as they found someone else. It may sound silly, but in a child’s mind, even in an adult’s mind, we find ways of coping, when we have relationships that are no longer close like they once were.
So I dubbed myself a “Fly by Friend” and I honestly didn’t mind being one at all. I love being able to be there for people, to encourage them, and motivate them on their journey. And although I may have wished for the relationship to last longer, I knew it served a good purpose in their lives and I was content with that.
I understood that each person came into my life for a purpose, even if only for a time, so I didn’t mind only being there for the time they needed that encouragement.
A part of me, held onto this identity because then it was easier to encourage the person to fly onto their next growth phase and not be hurt or offended when we weren’t as close as before.
No Longer a Fly By Friend!
As I was speaking to my husband today, I realized that I hadn’t thought of myself as a Fly by Friend in a long time. I am no longer a Fly by Friend!
And you know what I realized…I have more deeper relationships now than I had before!
I had begun to pray a part of Psalm 68:6 over myself and my family.
Lord, we trust you wherever you take us. We know “you set the lonely in families” and so we pray you will bring us to those who will be like our family wherever we go. In Jesus’ holy name – Amen!
I was ready to receive deep friendships and God provided them!
Yes, there are still people that will only be in our lives for a certain time, but now I’m ready for these deeper relationships and I realize that I wasn’t completely ready for them before.
Watch What We Speak
What we speak to ourselves or others becomes our truth, whether it should be a truth or not. This is not to say there isn’t an absolute truth! No, God proclaims absolute truths.
It is to say that what we think and say becomes our reality often times. This is one of the reasons why I believe God tells us to guard our hearts.
Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.
Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.
– Proverbs 4:23-26
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
– 2 Corinthians 10:5
Capturing My Thoughts
When I believed I was a “Fly by Friend,” that is exactly how my relationships looked.
But in not identifying with that idea for the past several years, I have been ready (mentally, physically, and emotionally) to have deeper, long lasting relationships.
And you know what?
God, has answered my prayers! And in his mercy, He is teaching me how to be a better friend to those I have the blessing of calling friends and family!
Question to Prayerfully Ponder
Have you ever labeled yourself in such a way to isolate your feelings?
Is there something in your life you would like changed?
Consider how you are talking to yourself about that area of your life and then take those thoughts to God in prayer.
Prayer Over Our Hearts
Lord, you are holy and awesome and beyond compare. You teach us the meaning of true friendship. You do not force us to love you. Freely, you gift us your friendship and allow us to choose how we engage or disengage from you.
You encourage us to love and be friends to others as you have been with us. As you have walked with many physically and spiritually, you know the heartaches and the blessings that can come with befriending others.
May we not allow our fears to keep us at arms length from others, but trust that you have a purpose for each interaction.
May we seek your guidance as to whom we allow to walk closely with us so that these close friendships would encourage our faith and not steer us away from you. We pray that as we walk with others that we would bolster their faith in you too!
Lord, we trust you wherever you take us. We know “you set the lonely in families” and so we pray you will bring us to those who will be like our family wherever we go.
In Jesus’ Holy Name – Amen