Looking Forward in Marriage: Retirement

Together through Almost Everything

My husband and I have been married for almost twenty-six years.  During that time, we have been through so much.  We have been together through most everything listed in our wedding vows.  God has brought us through good and bad times.  At this point in our lives, our oldest child has completed his second year in college, and our middle child will be a senior in the fall.  Our youngest will be a high school sophomore.  So now we are looking to our future.  We recently started discussing what I would do after our children graduated.

I have been a stay at home/homeschooling mom for almost twenty years.  The thought of going back into corporate America does not exactly set well with me.  When I was in college, I did not know what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I changed my major numerous times, finally settling on one because if I changed again it would take me longer to graduate.

What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

Once I got my degree and started a career, I was never truly satisfied with my job situation.  (Now, I can see God’s hand in this.)  The position and money was never good enough.  I always felt like something was missing, and it was not until we had our first child that I finally knew what I wanted to be: a mom.  Now, I am looking back at square one. What do I want to be when I grow up? Or rather, what do I want to do when the kids are grown and gone?

My husband and I recently discussed this.  He asked me if I planned to go back to work when the kids graduated.  I had been thinking about it and really could not decide what I wanted to do, even with prayer.  I could not discern if it was God telling me or just my feelings of what I wanted.  The more we discussed it, the more I knew.  I decided that I want to retire!  I am serious!  My husband is six years older than I am.  By the time our youngest graduates, my husband will be just a few years from retirement.  He would like me to retire when he does, so for now that is our plan.

Looking Forward to Retirement

We have been discussing what we want in our retirement, and we agreed we wanted to travel.  So for now, that seems to be our plan. Hopefully our plan will agree with God’s plan for our lives, too.  We have learned through the years to always listen for what God wants us to do. I am sure we will continue to discuss this, pray, and change our minds, but right now traveling sounds good and corporate America does not.

What are your plans for retirement?

Comments ( 18 )
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  • erin

    My children are 15 years apart. So, while I have one that is a sophomore in college, I have one that is going into kindergarten this year. I hope that by the time he graduates high school, I too will be ready to retire.

    • Toni D

      Wow! What a blessing! The little ones keep us young – they also wear us out.

  • Andrea

    I haven’t even thought much about retirement – I don’t know what I’d do

    • Toni D

      This was actually our first discussion about it. Just like with the kids growing up, retirement will be here before you know it.

  • Debbie

    My hubby and I joke that we’ll follow our oldest son, who wants to do the Christian music tour scene, around the country in a VW minibus!

    • Toni D

      Oh, that sounds like fun!

  • Heather

    I am excited for you guys to be able to travel and relax together at the same point in your lives. I am in a season of young children and many years away from retirement age, but it is something I am hoping my husband and I can do together and I look forward to it. I also sometimes wonder if God is directing me or my own desires, I like that I am not the only person who thinks that at times.

    • Toni D

      The times passes so quickly! I know everyone says that, but it really does. Yes, I do struggle with decisions and discerning God’s Will.

  • Jennifer DeFrates/Heaven not Harvard

    We are facing retirement sooner than later. My husband is facing it in less than a year. The problem is – I still just want to be a mom, but it doesn’t pay much and I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. I am praying God’s will and direction will be clear.

    • Toni D

      It’s difficult after being a mom to find direction. I think that’s why we struggle so much. The world tells us we should “do more”. I will pray for you.

      Dear Lord, You know Jennifer’s heart. She wants to do Your Will. Give her a discerning spirit so she might know the next step to take in life so that she can live for You. She loves You and truly seeks Your guidance. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

  • Caroline

    My hubs is ALL about retiring as soon as possible and we are saving our $$$ so we can both do just that 🙂

    • Toni D

      Oh, how wonderful!

  • Aleida Lane

    This touched me. I’m a new mom and relatively still a new wife. I’m just starting the journey but I’m looking forward to raising my child(ren) and a lifetime with my husband.

    • Toni D

      Everyone tells you that it goes by fast. It is hard to believe until it does.

    • Toni D

      Yes, we had not discussed it previously. Now we are really looking forward to it.

  • Kristin J

    Your beginning sounds a lot like how mine has been going. “Mom” is definitely showing itself to be most fulfilling. Just you wait… my father-in-law recently retired and my mother-in-law is the busiest she’s been in a very long time leading bible studies with the younger women at church, plus continuing to be mom and now Grandma! You never know how God will use the next chapter of your life, but I hope there will be some good trips in there for you two!

    • Toni D

      Most women that I have talked to that are retired all say the same thing, “I don’t know how I ever had time to work!” I’m so looking forward to it.