Does this sound familiar?
“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small. And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.”
Yes, that is a part from the well-known song “Let It Go.” Â If you have small children, you have heard this more times than you would like to admit. But have you ever really listened to the lyrics? Â These are some beautiful words of truth to live by in everyday life! Â I would like to focus on one topic that plagues me on a daily basis: control.
Yes, I said it, control.  I feel that as parents, it is hard not to control everything.  Things would be better, run more smoothly, and you would get things done a LOT faster if you did things rather than the little people.  I would like to point out–I do not have all this figured out, hence the reason why I am writing this post!  But I hope this may be a source of encouragement for all the parents out there who want to “help,” “guide,” etc. your kids in all they do.
Here are some points to consider:
1. Give them space.
Kids need space to do what they need to do. If you are over their shoulders they do not have the capacity to express what they would like to do. Â You will realize your kids are capable of SO much more than you think.
2. Let them make mistakes.Â
Instead of calling them “mistakes,” let’s say learning by trial and error.  They will make mistakes, but this is how they will learn, grow, and understand what they could do to make it better next time.  You want them to understand that there will be tough times, but they need to learn to work through it on their own.
3. Be present.
Be there, love them, lend them a hand when they need it.  It is always important that you are still there with them so they know you are available when they need you.  There is a fine line between hovering and hanging back to let them figure things out. Make sure your kids know that when things get tough, you will be there to assist in any way possible.
I wanted to write this post because every day I try and want to do EVERYTHING for my kids.  I tend to assist, hold their hand, insist that I do it for them.  But what I have learned is that when you let go, you let your kids show you just how much they can amaze you.  Recently, I wanted to do a painting craft with my daughter.  I knew that my instincts to not let her would creep in. So I decided to embrace what she could do.  The time we spent together painting blessed me tremendously because I learned what an encourager she is!
“Mommy, you do a really good job!”
“That is beautiful!”
“You are the best Mommy ever.”
It brought tears to my eyes because just letting her paint by herself showed me one of many talents God gave her! Â We serve an awesome God!
Make no mistake, God works in all of us when we let him and he works in your children as well.  He blesses, he cares, and when you let go…you let God take control.  What a beautiful sight it would be if we let go and have full faith and trust in God!
How do you “let it go?“
Be encouraged by these posts as well!
- The Blessing of Bible Class! - October 12, 2018
- Romans 12:12 {My Favorite Verse} - May 9, 2018
- The Submissive Wife - January 17, 2018
So so beautiful!! I know that I’m having a hard time letting my tot try things on her own– this was great encouragement!
[…] My dear friend Candace wrote a great blog here recently about being patient and encouraging your kid… […]
One of the hardest things a parent can do is just let go. Let them fall, succeed and make it the way they want to make the craft not the way the world says it is done.
I definitely have an issue with control! I have learned to “let it go” by letting my boys be boys! i.e. letting them explore in the yard, get all messy, climb and swing. I used to get anxious with all the bugs and snakes and things (we live in the south), but I recently heard the small voice say “They are fine”. I survey for snakes still, but I don’t hover! And, I don’t mind the extra laundry! 🙂
I think the one that I benefitted from the most as a child was a combination of being able to make my own mistakes with a parent that was present but didn’t hover. That way I didn’t get into too much trouble but I learned a lot!
This is so true. What a great post. I struggle with letting go and letting my son do certain things if I know a big mess is about to be created, or he is going to get super dirty when I just cleaned him up, for example. But, as you mentioned, it is so important to do so. Often I will acknowledge my want to control and just go on a walk where I let him lead. It has really helped me because I can see all that he sees, and it makes me remember to just stop.