I will admit that I am a control freak. If something needs to be done, I will do it, because of course no one else can do it like I can. This has led to many interesting scenarios in my life. Even now, I struggle to relinquish control.
I have written in the past about my weight struggles and self-image. As a teen, I battled anorexia. Now, as a middle-aged adult, I struggle with weight gain.
Recently, a friend wanted to do a detox/weight loss plan on a group on Facebook. I figured, “Why not?” This would give me accountability and I could lose a few pounds. Most of my clothes do not fit anymore so I needed to do something.
The first morning I got on the scale–something I had not done in several months. I almost cried. Including one of my three pregnancies, I had never weighed this much before. I knew I had to do this. Studying the food list carefully, I started planning out what I would eat. I was hyper-vigilant.
Weight Loss Success…and Failure
Determined to eat only what was listed and keep my calories low, very low, I lost eight pounds in the first week! I was so excited. Clothes were already fitting better and I felt good. But, in the back of my mind I had a nagging feeling.
Halfway through the plan, I had only lost an additional pound in three days. I was devastated! The first eight pounds came off so easily. Now, I felt stuck, with basically no further weight loss. I had foregone brownies, cobbler, cake, pasta, hamburgers–you know, all the “good stuff.”
Who is in Control?
I was having a pity party for myself when God told me that I was not in control. He was. You see, my weight issues are about control. When things seem out of control for me, I try to find something I can control and this time it was food. I was controlling every bite I took. Despite hearing God tell me this, my lack of progress still upset me. As I dressed for the day, I found a pair of shorts I have not been able to wear in over a year. When I put them on, they fit!
He showed me that it was okay that I had not lost more weight. I was doing good and feeling better. I did end up losing twelve pounds of fat in twenty-one days. The detox helped me to get back to eating right and God showed me that He was in control.
Are you a “control freak?”
Have you learned to relinquish control to God?