Control Freak

I will admit that I am a control freak.  If something needs to be done, I will do it, because of course no one else can do it like I can.  This has led to many interesting scenarios in my life. Even now, I struggle to relinquish control.

I have written in the past about my weight struggles and self-image.  As a teen, I battled anorexia.  Now, as a middle-aged adult, I struggle with weight gain.

Recently, a friend wanted to do a detox/weight loss plan on a group on Facebook.  I figured, “Why not?” This would give me accountability and I could lose a few pounds.  Most of my clothes do not fit anymore so I needed to do something.

The first morning I got on the scale–something I had not done in several months.  I almost cried.  Including one of my three pregnancies, I had never weighed this much before.  I knew I had to do this.  Studying the food list carefully, I started planning out what I would eat.  I was hyper-vigilant.


Weight Loss Success…and Failure

Determined to eat only what was listed and keep my calories low, very low, I lost eight pounds in the first week!  I was so excited.  Clothes were already fitting better and I felt good.  But, in the back of my mind I had a nagging feeling.

Halfway through the plan, I had only lost an additional pound in three days.  I was devastated!  The first eight pounds came off so easily. Now, I felt stuck, with basically no further weight loss.  I had foregone brownies, cobbler, cake, pasta, hamburgers–you know, all the “good stuff.”

Who is in Control?

I was having a pity party for myself when God told me that I was not in control. He was.  You see, my weight issues are about control.  When things seem out of control for me, I try to find something I can control and this time it was food.  I was controlling every bite I took.  Despite hearing God tell me this, my lack of progress still upset me.  As I dressed for the day, I found a pair of shorts I have not been able to wear in over a year.  When I put them on, they fit!

He showed me that it was okay that I had not lost more weight.  I was doing good and feeling better.  I did end up losing twelve pounds of fat in twenty-one days.  The detox helped me to get back to eating right and God showed me that He was in control.

Are you a “control freak?”

Have you learned to relinquish control to God?

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